Man Steals Flowers for His Girlfriend in Front of Live News Camera
A Polish man, recently dumped by his girlfriend for reasons we cannot even begin to imagine, decided to win her back by presenting her with a bouquet of roses he'd stolen from a flower shop window. The problem was, he managed to pick the one time in the history of journalism that a news crew was filming a live broadcast in front of a Polish florist, inadvertently capturing his crime on national television.
Behold, the Professor Moriarty of Polish flower theft.
The segment aired to millions of viewers, and police received hundreds of calls from people who'd seen the clip and recognized the less-than-subtle thief in question. The cops quickly tracked him down and arrested him, despite his poignant insistence that he'd only stolen the flowers that would've surely saved his relationship because he didn't have the money to pay for them.
Teens Steal Credit Card, Use It to Take Photo Booth Pictures of Themselves
A woman in Crofton, Maryland, recently lost her credit card at a shopping mall and inexplicably notified the police instead of simply telling her bank to cancel and reissue it. However, her baffling decision to call the cops paid off, as a brief investigation revealed that her missing credit card had been discovered by four teenagers who then immediately used it to purchase tickets at a nearby movie theater. The box office transaction was recorded by surveillance cameras, which would have been enough evidence right there, but the four burgeoning criminals decided to give the authorities a little something extra and swiped the stolen card to take a bunch of jackassed selfies in the movie theater's photo booth.
#YOLO #LIVEFORTHEDAY #BESTDAYSOFOURLIVES #CARPEDIEM #LOLSPANISHORFRENCH?
The cops identified the four within two days of publishing their photos on the Internet, because apparently the entire Crofton community simply cannot stand these motherfuckers. Criminal charges are pending, and may compound in severity depending on what movie the kids went to see (i.e., a month in solitary for seeing The Big Wedding).
Tired of cliche wizards and space opera? Check out XJ's $0.99 science-fiction/fantasy novella on Amazon here, with the sequel OUT NOW. And of course, you should look at his writing blog and poke him on Twitter. And happy belated birthday, Erika!