5 Hilarious Early Roles of 'Game of Thrones' Actors

In this commercial, two women come across a kilt hanging in a forest near an icy lake. It belongs to the Pre-Hound, who is swimming in the lake like a sexy little polar bear, far too comfortably for a man from the temperate Casterly Rock. As he nears the shore, the women giddily anticipate the sight of some Hound dong, something the show has been egregiously lacking. Instead, they're greeted by this goddamn Adonis:

Quaker Oats Company
"'sup?"

He's almost unrecognizable without his disfiguring scars, but if you squint really hard, you start expecting him to snarl menacingly at the little birds. Instead, his face contorts into what scientists have indeed determined is a smug grin, something previously thought impossible for the Hound's face to do. This isn't HBO, so there's no dong to be seen.

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"And with how cold this water is, I'm thankful for it."

Then he goes home to eat porridge, which is obviously what this commercial is for.

In an act of incest unheard of even in Westeros, someone actually decided it was a good idea to let this movie's director, B-list horror filmmaker Neil Marshall, direct the episode of Game of Thrones featuring the Battle of Blackwater Bay. He did such an admittedly good job that he was brought on to helm another important battle this season, but that's probably because there were no dire wolves involved.

Amazingly, Liam Cunningham isn't the only Game of Thrones actor whose resume includes a tacky SyFy role ...

It's almost like a vision of some future world if the khaleesi had committed some terrible transgression against dragonkind -- her reincarnated form is chased through forests by winged skeletons that swoop down to get themselves a taste of fire and blood.

Eventually, though, the Mother of Dragons seems to experience some kind of past-life regression, as she magics the creature into submission with a hilarious ceremonial chant.

No word on whether she regrets being unavailable for Sharknado. But not even the khaleesi's cheesy shenanigans can hold a candle (or rather, a buoy) to those of her late husband ...

Check out that Taylor Lautner-lookin' motherfucker. Now look away, lest you suffer the Dothraki version of what Noah did to Ham. The future Conan the Barbarian says his career was nearly ruined by his run on Baywatch, claiming that he couldn't get an agent for years afterward because of the bad reputation of the show's talent. He spent those years training, traveling, and struggling to get whatever parts he could until he was finally cast as the dreadlocked alien Ronon Dex on Stargate: Atlantis. His star (or should we say comet?) took off shortly thereafter, but he says he's still "constantly fighting that stigma."

So our Sun and Stars would probably be pretty pissed about us showing you all this video of his Hawaiian-shirted character serenading his fellow lifeguards with only the finest in late '90s overproduced slow jams, right?

As long as we stay out of the House of the Undying, we should be safe. Hey, speaking of late '90s pop ...

Through a series of events so convoluted that even George R.R. Martin couldn't have seen it coming, Jerome Flynn became a British pop star. It all started with a fairly normal role on a U.K. drama series, Soldier Soldier. For one episode, Flynn and his co-star Robson Green performed a duet of "Unchained Melody," which gave the women of England an unexpected laundry situation when it apparently melted their collective panties.

The response was so overwhelming that no less a vulture than Simon Cowell approached them with a contract, presumably signed in blood and notarized by Satan. Their cover of "Unchained Melody" was released as a single and went straight to No. 1 on the U.K. charts, going on to become the best-selling single of 1995. Over the next two years, they released two full-length albums as Robson & Jerome that also topped the charts before Flynn presumably won his soul back from Satan in trial by combat, free to emerge 15 years later as the Imp's scrappy sidekick. Of particular note is their cover of "Up on the Roof," which is eerie, given the events of- oh, you haven't read the books? Well, you'll see.

Manna also trolls non-readers every Sunday night on Twitter.