Going to the doctor can be an ordeal even before your bunions are properly diagnosed as leprosy -- among those forces conspiring to test your patience are interminable waits, loud children, and shitty magazines. ("Oh, a single issue of Redbook. From 1996.")
Some medical professionals, however, seem to go out of their way to elevate the entire experience from "horrible" to "hellish" in a way you just can't learn in medical school. Here are five real MDs who make Gregory House look like Dr. Dolittle.
5 The Doctor Who Prescribed Fellatio
Some medical problems require creative solutions, and sometimes those solutions involve wrangling someone's junk in your pie-hole. When a woman in Sacramento told her surgeon that her sensitive gag reflex might complicate an upcoming upper-gastrointestinal endoscopy, Dr. J. Peter Zegarra told her that she "should be giving her husband a blow job at least twice a week to address her issue."
He then presumably high-fived her husband while an orderly played the riff from Motley Crue's "Dr. Feelgood."