The company spent a considerable amount of money buying a full page on the Wall Street Journal and New York Times just to say "See? See?! We're not the only jerks here!" Fraudulent lawsuits may be bad for American business, but dropping millions of barrels of oil in the ocean is worse. Here's a tip for you, BP: Any time you feel like making yourself look like a victim while reminding everyone that you killed 11 people with your negligence, don't.
Al-Qaida Is Holding Ice Cream Eating Contests
As if things weren't fucked up enough in Syria, al-Qaida has also set up shop there, fighting in the civil war with the hopes of establishing a new, more oppressive regime. Naturally, the Syrian people aren't big fans of them either -- you know, on account of their tendency to blow up civilians. Well, apparently the terrorists saw President Assad's social media efforts and decided to prove they could be even more fun than he is by holding a family fair in Syria's largest city, Aleppo.
Al Qaeda via Washington Post
Canada Dry: The official soda of family fun and jihad.
The terrorist-organized fair included typical events like a tug-of-war competition between rebel groups, an ice cream eating contest for boys, and the always lively Quran readings for girls. Oh, and jihadist propaganda and such. Sadly, the YouTube videos documenting these activities have since been deleted, probably because you could hear Kelly Clarkson songs in the background.