Though he does admittedly seem a bit fuzzy on the details:
"If we could just science their astronomy, we could totally physics their power."
Faster than anything we can build, except for the spaceship that we built to catch up to and land on a comet, right? Like, the exact thing that was the impetus for this little foray into craziness and physics?
"Don't forget the astro fucking. I saw those space babes in that documentary."
It's good to know that even before we've landed on another planet, Canseco already has his eye on fulfilling our galactic manifest destiny. Using comets for travel is, of course, a terrible idea for several reasons, which is why we decided to build our own rockets rather than wait 70 years between buses.
On an unrelated matter, Canseco accidentally shot his finger off while cleaning his gun, had it surgically reattached, and then tweeted that it fell off during a poker tournament and that he would be auctioning the severed digit. He later said it didn't fall off, but he got the idea when he saw a severed finger in a Halloween store. Not much else to say about that one.
When he's not JAQing it, Chris writes for his website and tweets.
For more missives from the bonkers and famous, check out 3 Celebrities Who Are Slowly Losing Their Minds on Twitter and The 6 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Celebrity Instagrams.