4 Ways We're Failing to Live Up to 'Back to the Future 2'

4

Hoverboards

Hoverboards are the best part of the Back to the Future films, for the sole reason that they're so much fun, they'll erase the trauma of being sexually propositioned by one's own mother days earlier.

Universal Studios
Between incest, bestiality, and Tom Cruise, the '80s were a weird time for Lea Thompson.

3

Jaws 19

In Back to the Future Part II, 15 new Jaws films had been released between 1987 and 2015. This is surprising, as the last Jaws film -- Jaws: The Revenge -- was far from auspicious, what with its roaring shark and star Michael Caine admitting that he never watched it. ("I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.")

Universal Studios
Above: Two things audiences won't be watching next year.

2

Flying Cars

According to Back to the Future Part II, not only will cars in 2015 be able to fly, but citizens can easily "hover-convert" their older cars, meaning you should be able to skim Earth's ionosphere in your 1999 Toyota Tercel by Labor Day.

Universal Studios
Finally cabbies, drunks, and the elderly will be able to commit vehicular manslaughter on a three-dimensional axis.

Unfortunately, the auto industry's got its work cut out. The closest we have to a market-ready flying car is the yet-to-be-released Terrafugia Transition, which resembles the doomed flying cars of yesteryear. But instead of just crashing, the Terrafugia can drive, fly, and act as a studio apartment (because chances are you can't afford to casually blow $279,000 on it).

Terrafugia
"It's fueled by a combination of premium unleaded and fiscal regret."

1

Mr. Fusion

Back to the Future would've been a much darker franchise if Doc and Marty had to steal plutonium from Libyan terrorists every time they wanted to embark on a time-traveling romp. That's why the second film introduced Mr. Fusion, a tiny nuclear fusion reactor that converts garbage into power, not unlike Michael Bay.

Universal Studios
"One Pearl Harbor DVD can power this baby for five trips. Ten if it's Blu-ray."

The good news is that recent experiments have demonstrated that nuclear fusion reactions are possible in laboratory settings. The bad news? In order to facilitate such a reaction, 2014's scientists needed 192 lasers and a building large enough to hold three football fields. So yeah, your Tercel's definitely going to fall out of the sky if science doesn't get its shit together fast.

J.M. McNab writes and podcasts for Rewatchability.com. You can also find Rewatchability on Twitter.

Always on the go but can't get enough of Cracked? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.