Climate change regained its title as the Hottest Media Buzzword earlier this month when U.S. senators pulled an all-nighter to talk about it and American citizens responded by enthusiastically not giving a shit.
But if we may presume to offer you a bit of advice, random senator who's currently reading Cracked instead of, you know, making laws and junk: If you want Americans to pay attention to climate change, you've got to go full-on horror movie. Give them a swift kick straight in the poopyourpants gland by telling them how ...
4 It's Thawing Out Mummified Corpses from Past Wars
When you think about ice melting in relation to climate change, it probably brings to mind worries about rising ocean levels and transient polar bears. But it turns out you should maybe be just as concerned about what's lurking in the center of that slowly melting ice, like the horrifically chewy center of a Cenobite's Tootsie Pop.
As the Presena glacier north of the Italian Alps has gradually thawed over the past couple decades, it's puked out some unexpected items: diaries, letters, antique rifles. More recently, it's become terrifyingly apparent who owned said items -- because they're trapped in the ice, too.
Museo della Grande Guerra, Peio
Well, they were.