Unlike the state of Illinois, with their smiling lump of coal.
Illinois Coal Education Program
"We just added a hard hat to an old potty training mascot we found."
Gatorade App Tells Kids Gatorade Is Better Than Water
For a while, food activists have been accusing soda companies like PepsiCo of using their considerable advertising bucks to make kids think water is the enemy. PepsiCo responded to these accusations by saying "Yep, that's pretty much what we're doing" and releasing a mobile game to drive the point home. Players control Usain Bolt (who sponsored the anti-water game, by the fucking way) as he runs across a track, making certain to avoid the water droplets, which, if touched, will slow them down.
McDonald's is working on a ripoff where fruit shrinks your penis.
The game had 2.3 million downloads, 87 million plays, and reportedly 820 million brand impressions to the key demographic of 13- to 24-year-olds, teaching them that water is shit. After the controversy, the company explained that they were simply trying to "position Gatorade as the hero helping drive better performance and higher scores with water as the enemy that hinders performance." On the other hand, it's refreshing for a big company to just admit to being evil like that. Progress!
The third part of XJ's epic science fiction novel is out now on Amazon. The first $0.99 novella can be found here, with Part 2 out here. Leave a review and he'll love you forever. Poke him on Twitter and follow him on Facebook.