Humans have been doling out orgasms for hundreds of thousands of years, so you'd think we'd have that shit down pat by now. Yet every day, some sextrepreneur introduces a new gizmo that will supposedly reinvent fucking, because clearly that's a subject we haven't given enough thought to already. Although there's nothing wrong with using a toy to get your rocks off, every now and then, one pulses and throbs onto the market that is so inherently wrong on every level that its creator must be an alien trying to get our species to go extinct.
Or at least, that's how we rationalize the existence of some deeply unsexy new adult products, such as ...
4The Glov: An Automatic Wearable Dildo for the Extremely Lazy
The independent career woman of today probably has no time for things like changing diapers, cooking sandwiches, or wanking by herself. That's why a man by the name of Steve Scrase has taken it upon himself to make female masturbation easier and more convenient with The Glov, a self-stimulation sex toy designed for chicks who are so lazy that they can't even be bothered to put the proper vowels at the end of words.
The Glov is, by all appearances, a completely normal hand garment:
If you're about to undergo a hardcore '80s dance-off, we mean.