4 Ridiculous Ways 'Law & Order' Covered Celebrity Scandals

4

Mel Gibson and His Son Are Racist Murderers

It's hard to believe now, but back in the mid-2000s, Mel Gibson was still on the sane side of wacky as far as moviegoers were concerned. This era lasted until Gibson was arrested for drunk driving and opened a watershed of psycho by blaming the Jews for the wars of the world and naming his arresting officer "sugar tits." Suddenly, Mel Gibson was less of a "leading man" and more of a "Holy fuck, who is this guy?"

AFP / Staff / Getty
One more nail in Braveheart 2's coffin.

3

Jon & Kate Plus Murder

Hey, remember Jon Gosselin, the Ed Hardy-wearing, reality-star dad of eight kids? Of course you do. Hey, do you also remember when Jon Gosselin murdered Kate Gosselin? No? Neither do we! In the Law & Order episode "Reality Bites," Jim Gaffigan plays Larry Johnson, star of the surreptitiously renamed reality show Larry Plus 10, which chronicles a single father struggling to raise his 10 special needs children. Sure, Jim Gaffigan doesn't look like Jon Gosselin whatsoever, but if you squint, you can see a resemblance.

If "we want to punch them both" is enough to count as "resemblance."

2

Anna Nicole Smith Was Murdered! By Her Sister?

Even six years after her death, it's hard to look back on Anna Nicole Smith's life without a little bit of pity (unless you're working for Law & Order, that is). In the Law & Order: Criminal Intent episode "Bombshell," Lorelei Mailer is a former stripper who is widowed by an elderly oil billionaire, has a drug addict son and newborn baby, and happens to look like this:

Holy shit, is that Milton Berle?

1

Chris Brown: Domestic Abuser, Terrible Person, MURDERER

If there's one story that doesn't need artistic embellishments, it's the saga of Chris Brown and Rihanna. He beat her up, they broke up, they got back together, and the whole world tries to look away while a domestic abuse victim reunites with her abuser. What else is there to dramatize? How about HOMICIDE?

In the Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episode "Funny Valentine," we not only see a re-enactment of the incident that got Chris and Rihanna in the headlines in the first place -- which, by the way, was a dick move -- but we also see a whole other side of Chris Brown (sorry, "Caleb Bryant"). In this version of the story, the singer kills Fake Rihanna's manager (with a gun, not his fists). And Fake Rihanna can't bear to put Fake Chris in jail, so she runs away with him to Bermuda. From there, things momentarily plateau for Mischa/Rihanna, until the unflinching cosmic laws of the Law & Order universe come crashing down and Caleb suddenly murders her in the closing seconds of the episode.

On the Law & Order Danger Scale, "person whose name is recognized by more than 10,000 people" ranks somewhere between "human cannonball" and "dynamite eater."

Joe Oliveto publishes serialized dark comedy under the pseudonym Adam Lexington. Follow him on Twitter and his blog, and download the first installment on Kindle for only a dollar.