If you give the news a casual glance, the big picture tends to be fairly goddamn dreadful. After all, news outlets rely on readers coming back day after day to see which one of the planet's 7 billion people decided to go insane the day before.
But amid the horde of world-ending dipshits hogging the headlines, there are those kindly folks out there who don't cause us to pray for Ragnarok on a daily basis. Who are we talking about?
Burglars Return Loot After Realizing They Stole from a Charity
This past July, burglars broke into the offices of California's San Bernardino County Sexual Assault Services and stole thousands of dollars' worth of computers and office supplies (and probably several pamphlets about avoiding men exactly like themselves).
Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Getty Images
"Just because we take what we want from someone, without their consent, doesn't mean you can compar- oh, right."
Their heist was elaborate -- they climbed over walls, disabled a security system and motion detectors, and absconded with the electronics, leaving hardly enough evidence to give the police a solid lead. But several hours later, the unexpected occurred. This letter was found at the crime scene ...
The first draft was written in crayon.