4 Reasons Chemical Spills Are Way Scarier Than You Think

How's that possible? The reason dates back to the Toxic Substances Control Act passed in 1976, which heroically took control of those substances by simply grandfathering all 62,000 of the current chemicals into the market with no effort to find out just what the hell they were. Including MCHM. As for any chemicals introduced since then, the act only gave the EPA 90 days to determine regulation on anything new -- with fucking hundreds of chemicals popping up each year. And if they don't get around to reviewing something in that period? Then it's totally free to use. It's the ol' "innocent until proven guilty" method for chemicals, except no one's trying to prove them guilty.

At least the EPA will step up its game now, right?

latimes.com
"We need time to rewatch Game of Thrones before the new season starts," officials said.

Oh.

The law says any industrial facility is required to report an emergency concerning extremely hazardous substances within 15 minutes -- Freedom Industries took nearly four fucking hours. While that sounds like a no-brainer, thanks to the amazingly loose wording, the shit-your-pants chemical hasn't been technically classified as a "hazardous substance" in an "industrial facility" on account that it merely stores the gunk.

Luckily, there's a second pollution law saying that anyone who doesn't give "immediate notification" of a spill can face charges ... that hilariously doesn't specify what "immediate notification" means. In other words, this all might have to come down to Death Wish-style street justice before it's over.

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"I was already in bed, and my phone was in the other room. Be reasonable."

This minimalist approach to disaster prevention was the only thing between the vomit sludge and a downstream water treatment facility for 300,000 people, but it could be worse: Not far from there is Marsh Fork Elementary, a school located 400 yards downslope from 2.8 billion gallons of toxicity being held at one of the state's largest chemical impoundments. If something goes wrong there, the kids will have less than five minutes for evacuation.

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"I don't care how loud those sirens are. We are not leaving this classroom until one of you tells me the capital of North Carolina."

By the way, when the spilled chemicals at Freedom Industries were moved to a second nearby location, that facility was discovered to have the same goddamn safety violations as the plant that fucked the dog, as well as zero evidence of employee training for the last 10 years.

It kind of makes you wonder if these places ever get inspected ...