A remake of cult classic From Dusk Till Dawn has already premiered on Robert Rodriguez's own network. (The network is called El Rey, because of course it is.) Yeah, whatever. Call us when you turn Machete into the X-rated cartoon it was always meant to be.
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Three Pirate Series, Two of Them Set in the Exact Same Year and Location
TV is not about to let Disney flog the pirate craze to death all by itself, regardless of the fact that they already did, years ago. To that end, there are three pirate shows currently in development: In what sounds like the result of a game of Diversity Mad Libs filled out by Ron Burgundy, we have Red Flag, about a 19th century Chinese lady pirate hooker who ... holy shit, really existed? OK, that one sounds refreshingly unique, which can't be said for the other two shows scheduled to premiere this season -- both of which are set in the same year (1715) and the same location (New Providence, Bahamas).
NBCUniversal Television Distribution
Platinum Dunes
Looking forward to TNT's Anchor and Skinemax's Full Mast.
They insist, however, that they're totally different: Starz's Black Sails is a "gritty prequel to Treasure Island," while NBC's Crossbones is the true-life tale of Blackbeard, who just happens to be played by John goddamn Malkovich, so there's that. On the other hand, as Entertainment Weekly astutely points out, there's a pretty good chance the premium cable program will have full frontal. This might actually be a tough choice.
Pretend Manna said something so hilarious in this blurb that you had no choice but to follow her on Twitter.
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