Corporations -- like mysterious islands, Colonel Sanders, and vaginas -- are full of secrets. And every now and then, those secrets leak out and let us in on how screwed up and out of touch the batshit suits behind the corporate logos really are.
4 Yahoo Begs Employees to Use Its Email
This past November, Yahoo asked all its employees to switch from Microsoft Outlook to the new Yahoo Mail for their main email account. This isn't the most extreme request for a company to make, but since people hate change and Yahoo's mail service sucks, only 25 percent of their employees actually made the switch. This led to a recently leaked email trying to encourage the remaining 75 percent to get on board, complete with (we are not kidding) mentions of Ayn Rand, Mr. T quotes, and a rambling metaphor about dinosaurs. When referencing Outlook, the executive said:
Certainly, we can admire the application for its survival, an anachronism of the now defunct '90s PC era, a pre-Web program written at a time when NT Server terrorized the data center landscape with the confidence of a T. rex born to yuppie dinosaur parents who fully bought into the illusion of their son's utter uniqueness because the big-mouthed, tiny-armed monster infant could mimic the gestures of the Itsy-Bitsy Pterodactyl.
"Quick! Switch his account while his brain is confused and disoriented from the words."