For around $90, a company in South Korea called U&I Impressions (whose website is now suspiciously absent from the Internet) would gold plate the shriveled umbilical cord of a new mother and put it in a Disney-limbed frame to confuse everyone who walked into your home, seeing as how the end result looks like a melted clump of Nazi gold you decided to hang on your wall. You can also pay to have your cord remnant bronzed, because according to this website, bronzing studios will cast absolutely anything that can't be immediately linked to a homicide investigation.
The Bronzing Studio
Knotted clumps of fused metal flesh tastefully complement any evening wear.
Once you've finally fired that screaming future resentment machine out of your body, you can pay someone to grind up the placenta and put it into capsules you can take as supplements, because eating a dehydrated sack of bloody afterbirth is way better than drinking a chocolate protein shake like some sane person not born to star lizards on one of the moons of Jupiter.