4 People Who Had Brain Farts at the Worst Possible Moments

4

Pilots Forget to Ask for Permission to Land

One of the first things everyone notices about flying is how the runway looks like Busytown. Dozens of people are out there doing jobs with two main goals in mind: keeping the planes from A) falling apart and B) hitting each other. In that respect, airport workers are like parents of the giant metal angels with the IQs of chipmunks.

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And TSA employees are exactly like parents who must prevent their 10,000 children from sneaking crack and firearms into bath time.

So there's a reason pilots have a protocol when it comes to landing, and that reason is "Duh." Someone's got to make sure another plane isn't trying to land at the same time or that there's not a rave occurring on the runway. So when two Ryanair pilots came in for a landing in Spain and noticed that none of the strip's lights were on, they probably had a moment where they looked at each other and gave a collective "Oh shit." They had completely forgotten to tell the airport they were coming. It wasn't until they had safely landed and were taxiing to the gate that they figured out their mistake.

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"Shouldn't there be a jet bridge here?"
"It's like 20 feet. Don't be a pussy."

To make matters even worse, the tower at the airport tried to contact the pilots to see where/who they were, but the pilots turned down the emergency radio frequency channel. The airline claimed this procedure was common among pilots to avoid "distractions." (You know, those annoying distractions that are broadcast on a fucking emergency channel.) To make this fail complete, air traffic controllers had forgotten to contact the plane prior to their landing as well. It's like everyone involved was Denzel Washington in Flight, but less competent and more coked up.

3

Repo Men Don't Understand How Addresses Work

The funny thing about foreclosures -- correction -- the good thing about foreclosures is that they don't happen overnight. There are thankfully about 18,000 steps that banks have to go through before a person gets kicked out of their home.

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Won't someone think of the poor bankers?

Which is why it was weird that Nikki Bailey came home to find that a repossession company had completely emptied her house. Not only was her house not in foreclosure, but it had been paid in full over 25 years ago. Like anyone else in her situation would do, Bailey called the cops.

It turned out the house they were supposed to repossess was in Godby Heights, and Bailey's house was on Godby Street. Godby Heights was in a completely different city. To add insult to injury, the men merely shrugged and said everything in her house had been junk anyway and they had taken it all to the dump. We can only imagine that they then laughed maliciously, high-fived each other, and sped off while splashing Bailey with a mud puddle. All of this further raises the question: "Who's Godby, and why were all these locations named after him?"

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A question second only to the identity of the mysterious Korean gentleman whose name adorns neighborhoods nationwide.

2

Acupuncturist Abandons Patient Full of Needles

Acupuncturist Jeff Tsing had a very long, tiring day of sticking people with needles and couldn't wait to leave the office so he could drink a beer and relax. Only he forgot something very important in his office: a patient. An unconscious patient who was still full of needles.

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"If I wanted to be mistreated by tiny pricks, I would have kept my OkCupid account."

The woman woke up alone, scared, and looking like a porcupine. She frantically pulled the needles out and searched the office for Dr. Tsing, only to find the office empty, with her locked inside. She looked out a window to find the doctor's car gone for the day and her car still in the parking lot. After yelling for help for five minutes, she had to call 911 and tell a baffled operator what had happened. After 10 minutes, she was let out of the building and the authorities arrived to the scene. (We're actually surprised that more visits to the acupuncturist don't end in 911 calls.)

1

Bus Driver Forgets Bus Stop, Drops Off Kids in Wrong City

It's bad enough being a middle school girl, riding a school bus, and living in Florida, but seven girls in Coral Springs, Florida, got the added insult of their bus driver simply not fucking caring where he dropped them off.

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"I was just preparing them for dealing with buses in the real world."

The problem started simply enough: The driver missed their stop. Now, if you've ever been on a bus full of kids, you know that missing a stop is like setting kids on fire -- there was probably a lot of shrieking and arm waving from that point on. All the driver had to do was turn around and fix the problem. One girl even called her father, who demanded to speak to the driver, who in turn refused to talk on the phone because it would distract him from his job.

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"Look, man, it's a bus driver secret that buses can fly. If I take my hands off 10 and 2 for even a split second, shit's gonna get Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."

After driving eight miles into another city altogether, the driver finally decided to drop all seven of the girls off. At a hospital. No one knows why he chose the hospital, other than perhaps thinking it was a safe place and wanting to give himself a decent head start before the parents showed up and kicked his ass.