People may think that petty theft is restricted to life in the big city. However, your wallet, purse, and personal belongings are in just as much danger out in the wilderness, because we've recently discovered that the animal kingdom will rob you blind the first goddamn chance it gets.
4Animals Have Taken Up Purse Snatching
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Izzy Lachowicz was at a friend's house for a barbecue when a fox leaped out of the bushes and ran off with her handmade purse, because apparently the fox works for a team of Dickensian street orphans. The fox waited for everyone to go inside for drink refills before making his move, so for a time the theft was a complete mystery. The next day, Izzy found her partially eaten purse and remembered seeing a fox staring expectantly at her during the party. Evidently she thought the fox was working up the nerve to ask for her number and didn't think twice about leaving a sack made out of dead animal skin on the ground unattended.
It's basically $1,100 beef jerky.