When you're a tourist, you're subjected to plenty of advice about how to protect yourself from the many dangers that await you in a strange land. Unfortunately, the reverse is rarely true -- no one tells the strange land how to brace itself for your dumb, vacationing ass. Don't think such warnings are necessary? Then let us tell you about how ...
4 Rich Parents Are Hiring Disabled People to Cut in Line at Disney World
Standing in a queue for several hours so you can enjoy a five-minute ride is part of the Disney World experience. For those with no patience, though, Disney offers VIP packages that let you walk straight into the attractions ... and for those with no souls, there's an even more exclusive method: hiring a handicapped "family member" to cut in line.
"Our deluxe packages include a 'Make-A-Wish kid' or 'amputee vet'."
Yep, for only $130 an hour these "black market Disney World Tours" will hire an individual in a wheelchair to put little rich children right at the front of the line. The people in charge of this service denied that this was a thing they did, before hastily deleting the part of their website that offered "significantly reduced wait times" and a "special entrance":
Dream Tours Florida via bernsteincrisismanagement.com
It's a dick world, after all.