By now you're probably aware of the arrest of Robert Durst, the millionaire accused of multiple homicides dating back to the 1970s, who until recently was walking around a free man. And even though the American judicial system prides itself on that "presumption of innocence until proven guilty" spiel, Durst seems oddly eager to give the prosecution the option to spend his entire trial blackout drunk and not wearing pants.
The above confession comes from the finale of The Jinx, an HBO documentary series about Durst directed by fellow super-rich guy (and Felicity theme song co-writer, seriously!) Andrew Jarecki. And if we're to tease out their relationship, Durst seems to be Mr. Burns, whereas Jarecki falls into the role Mr. Smithers. Why do we say that? Well, Durst has a penchant for the the kind of cartoonish evil of somebody who lives in an impenetrable force field made of dollar bills, whereas the documentarian Jarecki has been noted for his extreme closeness to his subject. Which perhaps explains why the following anecdotes didn't make the cut ...
4 Durst's Many Ridiculous Fake Companies
Remember Vandelay Industries, George Costanza's go-to fictional employer on Seinfeld? Apparently, fake business names are big with the wife-murdering crowd. According to an author researching Durst, the millionaire maintained a ton of pseudonymous identities and launched several dummy entities -- which wouldn't necessarily be news, except he gave them goofy asshole names like "WoofWoof LLC" and "Woofing LLC." Knowing this is like watching the boogeyman traipse out of your closet and noticing that he's wearing Crocs.
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"What about the logos?"
"Eh, just flip the McDonald's one upside down, whatever. I don't give a fuck."