Unfortunately, the girl's actual school called her mother about the absence and the whole house of cards came crashing down before the "first grader" had a chance to con her way into a valedictorian spot.
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Hilariously Bad TV Chef Gets Booked on Various Morning Shows
If Smell-O-Vision actually existed, local morning shows would be a wafty source of thick coffee-scented desperation and whatever debasement smells like. Having to chipperly rile audiences five days a week is a tough and thankless gig -- so it only seems fair that some hilarious jackass should take full advantage of that every once in a while.
Meet Keith Guerke, a five-time morning show guest of Wisconsin and Illinois promoting a book of recipes for stuff like a "ham, pie, and gravy smoothie" ... and making the hosts swallow the disgusting results.
WSAW
"Shit, I forgot the creamed corn; let me get you another."
But Guerke (who compares his work to GG Allin's) is actually a total farce created by a couple of prank comedians. Their mission? To watch underpaid news jockeys eat disgusting bullshit on live TV and bear it through gnarled smiles. We're not sure what's more impressive: the complete lack of screening these shows apparently have, or the hosts' ability to refrain from groin-kicking someone who just made them drink gravy and pie.
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