Most of us have been online long enough to understand that emails are forever, which is why every work message requires sobriety and a triple check that you didn't accidentally type "F.U. HR" while requesting time off. So if you ever happen to send out an internal memo that is completely insane, know that it will inevitably be leaked to the public, who will laugh at your batshit missive until the sun burns out.
4 Nike Dictates Random Child's Wardrobe
Last November, Florida State destroyed Miami with a 41-14 victory, proving once again that one part of Florida is better than another part of Florida. After the game, Florida State's coach, hilariously named Jimbo Fisher, greeted his 9-year-old son as the child ran onto the field and jumped into his arms, partly because they were happy, and partly because no one told Fisher and Fisher Jr. that they weren't living in a '90s sports movie.
"We saved the rec center/fixed the town's racial issues/learned to be a family again!"