Technology changes at a breakneck pace, but we can get a sneak preview of the future using the magical time portal that is the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. So what are today's tech giants cooking up for the next generation?
Judging from the following patents, the answer is "a bunch of wacky bullshit bound to make us look less like RoboCop and more like that ghastly Steve Urkel robot from Family Matters."
4 Sony Dreams of Smart Wigs
Tech companies are really getting into the "wearable computing" trend lately, what with Samsung's smartwatch and Google Glass. But the brain trust at Sony is blazing into tomorrow with their scheme to design smart wigs for elderly gadget aficionados.
"Comes in Kirk or Uhura."
According to the patent, the wig vibrates on your scalp every time you get an email, like some bootleg Spidey sense. But that's not all -- this toupee of the future might also have a built-in camera and laser pointer!
So what exactly is Sony going for here? It's hard to say, since this is just a patent and not a marketing brochure, but we kind of suspect that they made it specifically for Donald Trump, so that he can know at a moment's notice when someone is shit-talking him on Twitter.
3 Google Wants You to "Heart" Objects in Real Life
Speaking of Google Glass, Google has filed a patent that adds some Kinect-like functions to their fancy nerd specs. Their filing states that they want to allow people using Glass to be able to use hand gestures to interact with the real world.
One suggestion is the ability to "like" something you see while walking around, like a piece of art (if you're a tourist) or a comely stranger (if you're a creep). It's not a horrible idea, but the methodology is excruciatingly goofy. To "like" something, Google suggests using your hands to form a heart shape around it.
"We actually wanted something similar to +1ing something on Google+, but the Catholics sued."