More than half of Americans older than 16 are now single, which is the first time there have been more singles than non-singles in America since the government cruelly started keeping track of that information 40 years ago. Whether it's because the current generation is terrible at relationships or just doesn't like being tied down for too long, the end result is a churning, jealous ocean of ex-boyfriends and -girlfriends posting cryptic song lyrics on Facebook and driving through their former squeezes' neighborhoods with their headlights turned off.
But thanks to 21st-century technological innovations, jilted exes now have a whole new array of methods to creepily cling to their past relationships, which is another way of saying that, in all probability, someone you used to date is putting your face on a talking robot right this second.
4 Match.com Will Find You Someone Who Looks Like Your Ex
So let's say you just broke up with your significant other and you want to get back into the dating scene, but you're horrifically superficial. The last person you dated was a perfect physical specimen, and you don't want to let that sculpture of genetic triumph go. Luckily, Match.com has teamed up with a Los Angeles matchmaking service called Three Day Rule to make it so you don't have to, provided your new partner can be convinced to suddenly start answering to a different name like a rescue pet and doesn't mind "looks like my high school girlfriend" being at the top of the list of compatible interests ...
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"OK, I'm going to call you Bunny, and you call me Emotional Robot. It's a thing we did."