It's Christmas Eve, which means that Santa Claus will soon pervert the space-time continuum in ways frightening and unimaginable just so he can deliver you a gift certificate to the Cracker Barrel. And as is par for the course, this Christmas many organizations are appropriating Santa's already terrible countenance for their foolish human ends.
4 Santa Gets a Smartphone, Murders His Reindeer
To demonstrate how much modern smartphones can improve one's business, U.K. mobile carrier EE created this ad featuring Santa Claus espousing the virtues of fast wireless Internet. (Unlike last year's raft of Christmastime phone commercials, this particular Santa Claus does not use his phone to ogle Mrs. Claus' vagina.)
It's for all of us who ever wondered what Santa would sound like as a Guy Ritchie character.
The ad starts out fairly innocuous, with Saint Nick yammering about how various apps make his deliveries go smoothly. Then, in the final seconds, we see the consequences of modernization -- Santa puts his reindeer out to pasture and/or in an elvish glue factory in the northern wastes of Greenland.
"I keep these as a warning to the new workers."