Oh, look, right around July 9, two days after the N.Y. Times farted out the first story about the trend. Wow, journalists reporting on a made-up teen craze and causing it to become real? When has that ever happened before?
Climate Change Doesn't Cause More Kidney Stones -- Stupid People Do
Attention, everyone: A hot party is about to move into your pants. A hot, painful, traumatic party called "global warming-caused kidney stones."
"Which one? Read on to find ou- NO, MY DONG!"
Oh, fuck that. As if climate change wasn't scary enough, Science Daily, CBS, and Yahoo are reporting that as the temperature increases so will our anguished wails of crotch suffering. So how was this determined? A study released by Environmental Health Perspectives found that hot days tend to be followed by an increase in kidney stone-related doctor visits -- the loose conclusion being that the hotter the planet gets, the more dick rocks we'll be blessed with. Therefore, climate change and kidney stones must be connected ... even though the articles themselves later mention these little bastards are only "caused" by heat because we tend to dehydrate ourselves by not drinking enough water.
*30-second article break for water-drinking*