Game of Thrones Is Causing a Rise in Abandoned Dogs
Game of Thrones, the popular show about medieval nudity, has contributed to a rising epidemic of abandoned dogs, presumably because die-hard fans want to participate in the show's unmitigated cruelty and heartbreaking betrayal in the most entry-level way possible (in related news, there's been a worldwide surge in people buying their children pet goldfish and immediately flushing them down the nearest toilet).
"When you play the game of porcelain thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."
Several of the show's main characters keep giant dire wolves as faithful companions, and in an untethered desire to become as much like their favorite characters as possible without exercising or building a time machine, Game of Thrones fans began to purchase and adopt wolf-like dog breeds such as Siberian huskies and Alaskan malamutes. However, many of these fans suddenly changed their minds when they realized that feeding and caring for large dogs is almost as expensive as having children and cast them out into the cold like a bastard of Winterfell. In the U.K., the rate that these breeds are being abandoned has risen 420 percent in the last six years, and is likely to increase to 1,000 percent by the time the show ends and every fucking character is dead.
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