We have some good news and bad news, Internet: The good news is that April Fool's Day is over, so you don't have to be on the lookout for hilariously fake stories being passed off as truth. The bad news is that (as we've established over and over) for the media every day is April Fool's Day now, so forget what we said about not being on the lookout -- or just let us pick out the latest viral turds for you:
4 Nope, a Teenager Didn't Save the Government $400 Million by Changing Fonts
Every now and then the world is blessed with a viral headline so nonsensical that it sounds like the dying words of a stroke victim. Such is the case with this completely unquestioned story being passed from CNN to Fox, Huffington Post, and CBS:
"Government to teen: If you say Comic Sans, you're going to Gitmo."
Apparently if the government switched their font type from Times New Roman to Garamond, they could save a fortune on printing ink costs. It's that simple! In fact, why haven't they even considered it before now?
Maybe because the government doesn't pay for ink -- it mostly pays per printed page, so a two-word "Fuck you" memo to Putin costs the same to taxpayers as a page full of One Direction lyrics. Even ignoring that, a lot of government documents are printed with lasers, and even ignoring that, Garamond is a smaller and therefore less legible font, and if you enlarge it to the same size as Times New Roman, it uses up the same amount of ink. But other than that, this story is completely legit.