It's unclear what exact kind of eldritch horror the research team is destined to evolve into, but we'll get a better idea once their ventral polyps sprout up.
Scientists Find One of the Largest Volcanoes in the Solar System Next to Japan
In a recent scientific discovery that could possibly explain the existence of Godzilla, scientists have found that the biggest volcano on Earth and one of the biggest volcanoes in the solar system has been hiding on the seafloor a thousand miles east of Japan.
"Well, men, this thing is filled with either radioactive lizard eggs or Kinder egg toys. We're praying for the toys."
For the last 20 years, researchers have been stumped as to whether the huge lumpy underwater mass was a group of volcanoes or just one big mama volcano. Turns out that at 120,000 square miles, the world's biggest zit is the latter. This thing is the size of New Mexico, and the nearest competition is all the way out on Mars. This thing is so big and wide that if you stood on its side, you wouldn't be able to tell which way was downhill. Hawaii's Mauna Loa, which is Earth's largest active volcano, would only take up 2 percent of this thing if you could magically smoosh them together.
So on the one hand, we've got this massive secret geological treasure that we're just now finding, which is exciting. On the other hand, we've only got about five minutes before Japan figures out a way to fetishize it.
"Pshaw. Been there, done that." -Japan
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