4 Airport Officials Who Went Out of Their Way to Be A-Holes

Yeah, they went with door number two on this one, accidentally answering a media query with a snarky response about how the media has better things to do than cover some lost dog -- "Their entire government is shut down and about to default and this is how the U.S. media spends its time" -- thereby giving the media a way better thing to cover than just some lost dog. Air Canada has now issued an apology insisting that the email doesn't "reflect their standards or professionalism," which is a lot like saying a burned steak doesn't reflect a chef's standards of steak burning.

This wasn't a computer error or anything like that, as none of the airline employees could even figure out why someone would have two tickets to begin with. In fact, for the entire round-trip experience consisting of four bought seats, no two seats were at any point booked next to each other. At best, two were in the same row one seat apart -- meaning that some poor bastard was technically booked an airline seat in the middle of a fat man's butt cheeks.

As we've demonstrated with this POV Photoshop.

Seriously. On the same day that Logan International Airport was issuing moments of silence and wreath-hanging memorials, the fire department decided to conduct a training exercise on the freaking airfield that -- along with all that comes with a squad of firemen -- involved actual smoke.

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"You need to rip off my shirt and give me some chest compressions and a lot of mouth to mouth. Get in there hard; you want this to look as real as possible."

The incident kind of pissed people off, to which Massport quickly apologized, but reminded everyone that safety and security is still their top priority -- something that apparently doesn't include smoke-induced mass panic. Of course, they did totally warn people first ... on Twitter. So people are just babies.

It all began in 2011 when airline officials made O'Grady check the urn because the contents "were not a solid substance." Obliging, O'Grady was then forced to buy a $500 business class ticket after the airline gave away her seat because she took too long checking the bag that they made her check. With us so far? Once she got to her destination, she discovered that the urn had flat-out vanished -- from inside her luggage.

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"I see how they're handling the luggage. Fuck this."

And so, after years of hoping that someone might muster up the strength to give enough of a shit to respond, O'Grady got herself a lawyer and an official response from the airline that amounted to a written shrug and the promise that they would fight her lawsuit. With any luck, Mr. O'Grady is prepping some kind of The Grudge-style haunt, because his wife sure as shit isn't getting any justice.