3 Real Things We're Pretty Sure Are Cursed

When rescue finally came to tow the dismantled Triumph back into port, the towline broke, leaving the ship stranded yet again. They finally reached port five days later, but the next day a bus carrying many of the rescued passengers broke down and stranded them on the side of the road, because the world is cruel.

In April, the ship was in harbor getting work done when it broke free from the dock, floated downstream, and smashed into a cargo ship, killing a man. Apparently the Triumph was cobbled out of bones dredged up from a mermaid burial ground.

Jeff Gammons / Getty
"Well, how do you build a boat?"

But people viewing pictures of the painting online started to report weird phenomena -- children would scream when they saw it, printers would relentlessly chew up paper if they tried to print it, and one poor soul claimed to hear a stentorian voice and feel a gust of fiery air on his face as he gazed upon it. All of the victims blamed the painting, with nobody pausing to consider if the free AOL CD-ROMs they got in the mail were haunted.

The seller even posted webcam videos taken of the painting at night, which allegedly show the doll pulling a gun on the little boy. The painting ultimately went for $1,050 to a man who quickly began selling prints to people who enjoy terrible artwork that is appreciated by evil spirits. The weirdest part of all? Nobody who took part in any of these transactions paused and asked themselves the obvious question: If the painting really is haunted, why the hell would you want it in your house?

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