Here are two scenarios that might properly contextualize Harrison Ford in light of his recent plane crash into a Santa Monica golf course:
One. He's Hollywood's Mr. Magoo: a hapless, sensory-challenged old man who creates a chain reaction of havoc and destruction with every misplaced step he takes.
Two. He's Wile E. Coyote. His dream job is actually to be a pilot, so he chases that dream (Road Runner) at every chance he gets, using exceedingly shoddy 1940s era machinery and avionics, only to wind up, yet again, in a full-body cast.
Do we know anything about Harrison Ford or what drives him? No. Does Harrison Ford listen to podcasts? Probably not. Has he torn his ACL twice while acting? You bet he has. And that's all we need for this week's episode, wherein Cracked editor-in-chief Jack O'Brien is joined by Soren Bowie and Kristi Harrison to talk about some celebrity pet theories that explain their lunatic behavior.
They discuss Harrison Ford's aforementioned plane crash and how it relates to Bruce Willis' strange music career, how Garth Brooks is either the world's greatest diva or the universe's least humanoid space alien, and then discuss theories on the deaths of Whitney Houston and Elvis Presley.
Half your favorite musicians just wanted to piss off the record label.
Flat Earthers: they've got some new wrinkles!
You’re going to live a long time. Congratulations! Now act like it!
Hear us LIVE in Chicago: a city of coyotes, super-rats, and plumbing they forgot to install till later.