We're fresh off 'Green Book' achieving its dream Oscar night (CONGRATULATIONS you made-up Hero Dad Story you!!!). But this week's episode is about EVERY Oscars ceremony. Why? Because the Oscars dictate most of your movie-watching year: October-December = "good movies", January-February = "failed attempts at good movies", summertime = "movies seeking the big green Oscar better known as MONEY." So we asked ourselves a question. We asked what might happen if the Oscars stopped dictating that schedule? And what if they stopped dictating it because the Oscars stopped happening at all, freeing up all of pop culture to function differently (and maybe function better)?

On this week's episode of The Cracked Podcast, please enjoy the oracular brilliance and Hollywood wisdom of comedians/podcasters Caitlin Gill, Dan Hopper, Amy Nicholson, and Danielle Radford, who joined Alex Schmidt for this LIVE episode from the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. They'll dig into the biggest possible pop culture thought experiment: what would happen if the Oscars went away.

Footnotes:

'Unspooled' podcast (Earwolf)

'Bobcat Goldthwait's Misfits & Monsters' (featuring writing by Caitlin Gill)

'Tights and Fights' podcast (Maximum Fun)

The Only Pittsburgh Sports Podcast (Dan Hopper & Sean Gentille)

Earth Without People (Discover Magazine)

The Problems With 'Green Book' Start With Its Title, and Don't Stop Coming (Esquire)

Academy Reverses Decision, Will Air All Oscars Categories Live (Hollywood Reporter)

Oscars Drops 'Popular Film' Category (NPR)

How the 2019 Oscars Dealt With Having No Host -- From Musical Numbers to Comedy Routines (Entertainment Tonight)

Cher wins Best Actress Oscar for Moonstruck (History.com)

67th Academy Awards -- Winners ('Forrest Gump' wins Best Picture over 'The Shawshank Redemption', 'Pulp Fiction')

69th Academy Awards -- Winners ('The English Patient' wins Best Picture over 'Fargo')

Jennifer Lawrence -- Awards (won Best Actress for 'Silver Linings Playbook')

91% male. 76% white. Changing who votes on the Oscars won't be easy. (Los Angeles Times)

How Oscar votes are counted (Los Angeles Times)

Oscars 2019 Ratings Rise From Last Year to 29.6 Million Viewers (Variety)

What Will Win Best Picture? 20 Oscar Voters Spill Their Secrets (The New York Times)

The Energy Saved By Ditching DVDs Could Power 200,000 Homes (Vice Motherboard)

"Technical Difficulties" Leave Some to Wonder If the Razzies Are Rigged (The Hollywood Reporter)

4 Reasons The Razzies Suck (And Should Be Abolished Forever) (Cracked)

Climate change officially claims its first mammal: The Bramble Cay melomys is declared extinct (The Washington Post)

Now That's What I Call Music! 69

Rob Lowe Knows His Cringeworthy Snow White Oscar Bit Was "a Huge Mistake" (Vanity Fair)

lyrics to Seth MacFarlane's "We Saw Your Boobs" (Genius.com)

How Alcatraz Linked Marlon Brando and Sacheen Littlefeather, Who Refused His 'Godfather' Oscar (The Wrap)

Rin Tin Tin: The Life and the Legend by Susan Orlean (Amazon)

Rex (horse) -- Wikipedia article

'Blindspotting' (IMDb)

How the Oscars' shocking best picture envelope mistake happened (Entertainment Weekly)

Exciting Tour News!

See the first-ever Cracked Podcast LIVE TOUR this spring! Get your tickets now for: Thursday April 11th -- Lincoln Hall, Chicago IL and Friday April 12th -- Amsterdam Bar and Hall, St. Paul MN.

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