Hey there, you awesome person you! Congratulations: you've survived several months of a Donald Trump presidency. And double congratulations: you're pushing through this dark period despite having to experience it with a human brain. Our brains feel stress about everything from large predatory animals to low smartphone battery levels. Which begs the question: isn't it worth wondering how those fragile organs are handling American history's Dumbest Timeline?

On this week's episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt brings in Cracked POTUS-trackers Cody Johnston and Sean "Seanbaby" Reiley to discover the scale of President Trump's towering horses**t, and the psychological ramifications of facing it day to day. They'll shine a light on the most staggering, pointless lies ever told by the Commander in Chief. They'll use the latest psychological studies to examine how constant chief executive lies can scramble our brains. And they'll wrap up with ways you can be more mentally resilient than ever, both now and through the "The Rock" Johnson Administration.

Footnotes:

The 5 Stupidest People On The Planet (Are All Donald Trump) (Cracked)

Some News (Cracked)

Trump's Transition of Untruths, Exaggerations and Flat-out Falsehoods (Politico)

Donald Trump's Ghostwriter Tells All (The New Yorker)

Psychologist: No, It's Not Post-Election Stress 'Disorder' (WBUR)

Aides warned Trump not to attack North Korea's leader personally before his fiery U.N. address (Los Angeles Times)

Actually, Mr. Trump, Washington's Dress Shops Are Not All Sold Out (Washingtonian)

Donald Trump masqueraded as publicist to brag about himself (Washington Post)

A King in His Castle: How Donald Trump Lives, From His Longtime Butler (New York Times)

Trump Golf Course Commemorates a Civil War Battle That Never Happened? (Snopes)

Commander in Chaos (The Atlantic)

Corrections Research in Washington Post (Brendan Nyhan)

Trump's Lies vs. Your Brain (Politico)

How Mental Systems Believe (Daniel T. Gilbert; UT Austin)

Jimmy Carter speaks on 'a crisis of confidence,' July 15, 1979 (Politico)

President Trump's Inaugural Address, Annotated (NPR)

Enlightenment's Evil Twin (The Atlantic)

America Wasn't Built for Humans (New York Magazine)

Trump Temperament Consequences (Monmouth University)

The Economics Of Happiness And A Country's Income Inequality (NPR)

Income Inequality and Happiness (Shigehiro Oishi, Selin Kesebir, Ed Diener; Psychological Science)

The Lethality of Loneliness (New Republic)

Interactive: Trump Lawsuits (USA Today)

Andrew Jackson: Most Terrifying Man Ever Elected President (Cracked)

Gerald Ford: The Accidental President (NPR)

Donald Trump's 4-Hour Sleep Habit Could Explain His Personality (Daily Beast)

The Office - Soup Snakes

Happy Gilmore - A Hole in One

Jim Inhofe's snowball has disproven climate change once and for all (Washington Post)

Kimmel Turns Neil Gorsuch's 'Reality Show' Nomination Into a Celebrity Apprentice Episode (Mediaite)

NY Post cover depicts Trump White House as reality TV show 'Survivor' (The Hill)

Things Said By Donald Trump's Nutjob Doctor, Ranked By How Insane They Are (The Concourse)

How Putin Is Reinventing Warfare (Foreign Policy)

The Triumph Of The Ratfuckers (Esquire)

Was Milo Yiannopoulos' event a 'publicity stunt'? UC Berkeley community debates (The Daily Californian)

Calculords!

October is here and that means two things: it's John Carpenter month on Cracked Movie Club, and it's time for the annual live Cracked Podcast spooktacular! On Saturday, October 14th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset theatre in Los Angeles, Alex Schmidt will be joined by Cracked's David Christopher Bell and Brett Rader, as well as comedians Hallie Cantor, Greg Edwards and Danielle Radford to discuss urban myths and weird monsters that should get their own horror movie franchise, like the Pope Lick Monster (which unfortunately is not a monster that licks the pope) and the Bonnacon (which can best be described as a poop-unicorn). Tickets are $7 and available HERE.

Black market hormones! Suitcases full of murdered sex dolls and discarded porn! A request for military-issued pee funnels! It's never too late to catch up on the first few episodes of Cracked Gets Personal.

Click here to subscribe to Cracked Gets Personal on Apple Podcasts or search for it your podcast app of choice.

If you're looking to support The Cracked Podcast and spruce up your wardrobe with some nifty tees, check out the awesome Cracked Podcast merch we've got at PodSwag.com

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