The 25 Worst Pickup Lines You've Ever Heard

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Happy Valentine's Day. As a public service, we asked our readers to rack their brains and come up with the worst, weirdest, most ineffective pickup lines they've ever had to endure. Do not, repeat, do not try these.

Entry by Sonny Time

CRACKED CON At a friend's housewarming party, a woman didn't know asked me, Your safe word or mine?

Entry by PookieJones

A guy looked square at my chest and said: I like a girl with strong bones, and you must've drunk a lot of milk in your life.

Entry by Sonny Time

In a bar, I overheard a guy say, I'm conducting a survey. Can you help me with that? Sar Sunsy Okay, I guess, a woman replied. He asked, On a sca

Entry by PookieJones

A guy saw me put on some scented lip gloss and said: It smells great, a could I have taste?

Entry by gimsa

I received a text from a strange number that read, 'l have been watching you and I think you look like an angel when you sleep. I found this to be ve

Entry by Sonny Time

If I give you money, will you pretend to be my girlfriend? A friend of mine used that line back in college. CRACKED COM

Entry by denzity007

My iriend lapproached a girl, pointed at me and he said this to her: IS that guy bothering you? NO? Would you mind il 1 bothered you then; CRACKED C

Entry by Hestutomo

It was around 2 there was just me and this visibly intoxicated midalecagea lady on a subway platformo She approached me and out Of nowhere said,

Entry by deathpod

Wow, your face is really symmetrical. Thanks, awkward guy.

Entry by WhiteCells

I OVERHEARD THIS CONVERSATION AT A BAR: Excuse me miss, there's no smoking in this area. But I'm not smoking. Yes you are.


Him: I'm leaving. Come with me or stay here. You have 5 minutes to decidem Me: And waste precious time? Pssh. Bye. CRACKED.COM

Entry by schmidthead

I was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood at a Halloween party when some jackass approached me and said, 8dodb Can T put some goodies in your basket?o

Entry by Chan Teik Onn

My nephew thought he was being slick by making fun of an Asian stereotype (he is one) to impress an American girl, saying: I love rice, but not more

Entry by Hestutomo

My girlfriend worked in her dad's bakery and got hit on with this pick-up line more times than she cares to remember: Is your daddy a baker? 'cause y


A woman sitting next to me sneezed. Me: Bless you. Her: Thank you. Me: Could you bless me with your phone number? I'm sure that's the worst one

Entry by Hestutomo

My roommate said this to his crush during a party. Would you mind taking your clothes off? I'd like to see how angels hide their wings. Needless to

Entry by Chan Teik Onn

CRACKEDOON A girl in my class put on her pink lipstick and asked me if her lips looked pink enough. I said, Yeah. She then said, You want to know

Entry by Hestutomo

Are you an appendix? 'cause I sure want to take you out. - A tipsy guy in the pub, to my friend. GRACKEDOON

Entry by Scott Laffey

At last call, a girl I (barely) knew turned and asked me, You wouldn't want to give me a jump after this, would you? Sure, I answered. C ODOG WADU

Entry by PollyDarton

Him: You look like you could be from Ireland. Do you have any Irish in you? Me: No. Him: You want some? CRACKEDCONT

Entry by Fooery

My friend asked a girl How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fried? Scrambled? or fertilized?' Turns out it wasn't so funny.


One of CRACKEDOOM my friends was approached by a guy and said Your lips are a bit chapped and dry. Want some help MOISTENING that up? NOPE She gave

Entry by AmyB8484

He came up and said, I just love exotic girls. Where are you from? Will you take me there?

Entry by DilipG

We were in a bar when a guy approached my friend and said, I would hide all the chairs in the world, just SO you would have to sit on my face.

Entry by Kevin King

Back in high school, my friend was talking to a girl he had a crush on. When a certain Holocaust movie came up, he had the bright idea to say: You ca