21 Dumb Catchphrases That Corporate America Needs To Retire

Why can't people at work just talk like, well, people? Instead, because we don't have enough communication issues in our society as is, we have to make up a whole new vocabulary that we're required to use at least eight hours a day.

We're talking about things like ...

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Entry by notjessied

OUR LATEST PROJECT WAS A DEFERRED SUCCESS COZ NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT FAILURE AROUND HERE.

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Entry by milito

CRACKED.COM Your job does not require you to INTERFACE with clients, you interact with them. You interface with machines.

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

Business people often say things like we need air cover on this when they need some confirmation from the management. Like they're in Top Gun or somet

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Entry by Topbreak38

CRACKED COM FUTURE Goal Setting PLAN MARKETING -specific STRATEGY I DEA -Measurable CUSTOMER -Agreed upon Pride in Your Work -Realistic Outstanding Ef

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Entry by MistakeNot

This really is a high-intensity work environment. Instead of saying that, rather put it like it actually is: You will be overworked and we will pay

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Entry by jaoafallas

How soon can we round-table this idea with our client? As soon as you stop using round table as a verb.

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Entry by Busteq

This is what synergy means: 150 Summation A B A+B He Blood 100 (mm 150 Synergism A+ B Me A Pressure B 100 Time (min) The word you 're looking for is

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Entry by notjessied

CRACKING THE WHIP IS REALLY AN INSENSITIVE PHRASE CONSIDERING WHAT WHIPPING CONNOTES.

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

Disambiguate CRACKED.COM (v.) a hard-to-understand word that has the same meaning as 'clarify'

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Entry by jaoafallas

Action Plan You mean a to-do list? It's literally nothing more than a to-do list. todoust to do plan* action use Don't 1. conversation. in a

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Entry by notjessied

HUMAN CAPITALW We prefer manpower prized employees, or backbone of the company. Thank you. CRACKED COM

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Entry by jaoafallas

IYeah. Let's take that offline. So You talk later wanna about it after the meeting? Okay, cool. But this whole thing is offline. We are not online. W

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Entry by pstime

CRACKED COM open the kimono a sexist & racist way of saying reveal information

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Entry by CharlesCat

Instruction Manual Stop saying you're Looking for fast learner a and start telling them the truth. They won't be getting much, if any, training. CRA

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Entry by jaoafallas

We are right-sizing the company. Can't you just say you're gonna lay off some employees?

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

Alright Karen, I'll diarize our CRACKEDOON next meeting. Just use the word schedule next time, or words that don't sound like diarrhea.

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Entry by Kevin King

Close of play It means end of the business day, but all you can picture is adults being picked up from daycare. To: Mom & Dad CRACKED COM.

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Let's park that for now. Let's park that forever, it's a ridiculous phrase. CRACKED.COM

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Entry by milito

CRACKEDCON A LATERAL PROMOTION is just a nice way to tell you that it's not promotion. It's just a change of positions.

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Entry by AmyWoffSorter

CRACKED Thought Leader An individual (or company) who is considered an authority in a specific, or specialized field, and who is rewarded and recogn

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Entry by jaoafallas

Sounds good. Let's touch base about the updates this evening. How about you just use the word talk and avoid using something that sounds like a ba

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