Urban Legends About Alcohol (That Are Complete B.S.)

We can blame the news or television or Hollywood for a lot of the crap we believe about alcohol and its effects on our meatbags. But those mediums just perpetuate the myths -- we're pretty sure the source of all of these myths was someone who was just totally shitfaced.

As always, thanks to AuntieMeme for the voodoo she works putting these together.

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Entry by AM Smiley

MYTH: DRINK COFFEE TO SOBER UP. FACTE COFFEE JusT MAKes you An ALERT DRuNK. Coffee is a stimulant, while alcohol is a depressant. The caffeine will ma

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MYTH8 TAKE An ASPIRIN BEFORE DRINKING TO PReVENT A HANGOVER. FACT8 ASPIRIN mAkes you DRUNKER FOR LONGER. A study by the American Medical Association f

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MYTH8 Beer BEFORE LIQUOR, NeveR SICKER; LIQUOR BEFORE BEER, YOURE in THE CLEAR. FACT8 DRINK oRDeR MAkes no DIFFeRENCE. Drinking four beers and four sh

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MYTH: RED wine GOES WITH RED MEAT, And WHITE GOES WITH FISH. FAGT8 IT DepENDS on THE FLAVORS. Wine experts have conducted scientific studies, and they

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MYTH: one DRINK peR HOUR And YOULL BE FINE TO DRIVE Home. 12 PO 2 8 .76 5 CUANTZ brilllis FACT8 A DRINK TAKES TWO HOURS TO WEAR OFF. A 12-ounce bottle

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MYTH8 TO LOSE WEIGHT, cuT out ALCOHOL 2 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 FAGT8 women WHO DRINK ARE LESS LIKELY TO Be OBeSE. Studies have shown that women who c

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MYTH: American BEeR IS WEAK. FAGT8 IT'S JUsT measured DIFFERENTLY FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD. Most countries measure beer alcohol percentage by volume

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MYTH: VITAmIN B WILL CURE A HANGOVER. FAGT8 VITAmInS DON'T WORK on ALCOHOL. Whether you try injections the night before or popping pills the morning a

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MYTH8: A GOOD BARF WILL SOBER you UP. FACTE ALCOHOL IS ALREADY In your sYSTem BY THE TIME YoU vomIT. Alcohol absorption works by way of simple diffusi

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MYTH: PASSED-OUT BUDDY? LeT THeM SLEEP. FAGT8 KeeP An eye on A SLeEPING DRunK. Shitfaced drunk people have a habit of vomiting, and if they're lying o

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MYTH8 UNDeRAge DRINKING IS An ePIDeMIC. FAGT8 TEENAGe DRINKING IS AT An ALL-TImE LOW. The number of teens who abused alcohol dropped by a whopping two

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MYTH8 THE OLDER THE WInE, THE BETTER IT IS. FACT8 MOST wInes ARe BEST WITHIN A YEAR OR TWO OF BOTTLING. There are some rare exceptions, but most wines

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MYTHB A nice NIGHTCAP WALL HELP YoU SLEEP. FAGT8 IT'LL RuIn HALF YOUr NiGHT. Scientists have found that while an alcoholic drink at bedtime will help

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MYTH8 LIGHT BeeR IS GOOD FOR you. RE FAGT8 YOU'LL DRINK more OF IT. Because light beer contains less alcohol and fewer calories than regular beer, peo

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MYTH8 THERE IS no CURE FOR AHANGOVER. FACT: A BACON SANDWICH HELPS. British scientists have said that a bacon sandwich will cure a hangover. The bread

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MYTH8 ALCOHOL KeePS YoU WARm. FACT8 IT Just MAkes YoU THINKYOU'RE WARm. Alcohol makes you feel warm (and turn beet red) because it causes your blood v

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MYTH8 Hung OveR? HAVE A DRINK. FAGT8 THE HAIR OF THE DOG WOn'T unBite You. It's a common myth-the best way to recover from a regrettable night of drin

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MYTH8 ALCOHOL +- EneRgy DRINKS= E DRUNKER IA 380 eCBu| DRY THEF SIXT O FILTA ENER GY LaLMOND FACT: you DRINK more BECAuSE YoU FEEL LESS DRunK. Mixing

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MYTH: DARKER DRINKS ARE HEALTHIER. FACT8 DARK DRINKS GIVE YoU A WORSE HANGOVER. While it's true that red wines and darker beers generally have more an

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MYTH: You cAn BEAT A BREATHALYZERT TEST. 0.052 Matcohawe: FACT8 BREATHALYZERS ARE UNFAKEABLE. All the fake-outs, from eating mustard to burping to hyp

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MYTH8 BREAK THE SEAL And YOULL BE in THE JOHN ALL NIGHT. FAGT8 IT DoESN'T MATTER HOW LONG you WAIT. It's a myth that once you make that first bathroom

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MYTH8 BeeR GIVES you ABIG BELLY. FAGT8 SCIENTISTS HAVE FouND no LINK beTween BeeR DRINKING And THE BeeR BELLY. Abdominal obesity has everything to do

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MYTH: An ALCOHOLICI IS A peRson WHO DRINKS TOO MUcH. FAGT8 An ALCOHOLIC MIGHT not DRINK AT ALL. It's never healthy to binge-drink, but a person who dr

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Entry by AM Smiley

MYTH8 ABSINTHE MAkes YoU TRIP BALLS. FAGT8 ABSINTHE IS STRONG, BUT IT DoESN'T Make YOU HALLUCINATE. The potentially toxic/hallucinogenic thujone that