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The Shady Origin Stories Of Beloved American Traditions

Traditions tie a country and its people together to help us remember all that our ancestors have done to help us get where we are today. They're important to cultures. Even if they're all ripped off from somewhere.

That's right. Literally every tradition we celebrate today was stolen. Or doesn't even mean what we think they mean. Basically a lot of it is a bunch of bullshit.

As always, thanks to AuntieMeme for the voodoo she works putting these together.

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Entry by AM Smiley

American elections take place on Tuesdays. VOTE And it's all because of farmers. Tuesday became Election Day in 1845 to accommodate voters in rural ar

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Daylight Saving Time is supposedly about saving energy 12 1 11 2 DON'T FORGET TO 3 FALL 10 9 4 BACK 8 5 7 It's actually about spending money. The firs

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Some people think a rabbit's foot brings luck. It doesn't, unless the rabbit was killed in a graveyard. Legend has it that for a rabbit's foot to be a

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Entry by AM Smiley

You might be lying when you cross your fingers. And you might be waving to Jesus. When you cross your fingers, whether it is for luck or to cover your

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Entry by AM Smiley

Sadie Hawkins Day seems pretty empowering. It started as a decidedly unfeminist joke. Sadie Hawkins is a character from a 1937 Li'l Abner comic. Appar

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Entry by AM Smiley

Americans have celebrated Thanksgiving since the Pilgrim days, right? Wrong. All of the traditional foods and pageantry we associate with Thanksgiving

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Entry by AM Smiley

Many people toss coins into a fountain for luck. But we started doing SO to say thanks. Potable water was a rarity in many ancient cultures, So when e

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Entry by AM Smiley

Need a coffee break to get through your day? The Ran-American Coffee Bureau is pleased. During the 1950s the coffee-growing nations of South America a

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Entry by AM Smiley

Santa Claus is a beloved, jolly Christmas icon. And he's here to stop you from having fun. In the early 1800s, Christmas was a time of drunkenness, pr

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Entry by AM Smiley

Everyone loves Mother's Day. Except for the woman who created it. Anna Jarvis started the campaign to establish a holiday honoring mothers in 1907, an

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Entry by AM Smiley

You'd think every state would have immediately supported Memorial Day. But before WWI, they didn't. Memorial Day began in 1868 as National Decoration

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Labor Day celebrates workers' rights. And it got Grover Cleveland out of some hot water. In 1894, railroad workers in Pullman, lllinois, went on strik

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Entry by AM Smiley

St.Valentine is at the heart of Valentine's Day. VALENTIN But not according to the Catholic church. In 1969, the Vatican removed all the feasts of St.

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Entry by AM Smiley

Kids love all the free candy on Halloween. They used to have to work for it. The modern American tradition of trick-or-treating has only been around s

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Entry by AM Smiley

Americans celebrate Independence Day on July 4. But the vote was actually on July 2. The Continental Congress voted to declare American independence o

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Entry by AM Smiley

What could be more innocent than the Easter Bunny? A lot of things, it turns out. Early Christians might have adopted Easter from a pagan festival cel

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You might think Father's Day is kind of a joke. Day You have no idea. Father's Day was established in the crassest way possible. When Sonora Dodd came

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Entry by AM Smiley

On Columbus Day, we celebrate the discovery of America. AVI OR BE But Columbus wasn't even the first European here. Putting aside the fact that the Am

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Entry by AM Smiley

Want to have a traditional Christmas? Try some naked, drunken gambling. Early church leaders chose Dec. 25 to distract Christians from the pagan festi

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Entry by AM Smiley

Standing in line on Black Friday is a bargain-hunter tradition. But you'd do just as well tO stay home. News outlets made Black Friday into a big deal

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Entry by AM Smiley

Cinco de Mayo is about Mexican independence, right? Wrong. It's all about America. May 5 isn't Mexican Independence Day. it's the day a ragtag army in

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Entry by AM Smiley

You might think the Pledge of Allegiance was created by patriots. You'd be wrong. The Pledge of Allegiance was written in 1892 by Francis Bellamy, who

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AuntieMeme may or may not have a Diablo addiction that she may or may not talk about on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/crackedauntiememe/?fref=ts]