20 Real Official Merchandise Items No One Thought Through

There's a saying in Hollywood: "If we can milk this for every dollar that it's worth, then yank those goddamn udders." We don't actually know if they say that, but spend a minute in any toy store and you'll understand.

Naturally, when people have bags of cash on the brain, they don't really pay attention to the merchandise they're rolling out. With the help of AuntieMeme and her mint condition toy collection, you're about to see the results of what happens when you put cash in one hand and the approval stamp in the other.

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Entry by AM Smiley

PARENTS RECENTLY PETITIONED TOYS R US TO PULL THE BREAKING BAD ACTION FIGURES FROM THEIR SHELVES. A WABNING: Ages The Walter White MAZAR. 15+ figure c

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THe VeRMONT TEDDY BEAR COMPANY SeLLS A FIFTY SHADES OF GREY TEDDY BEAR. Actual text from the website: Want to leave her biting her lip with excitemen

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UP MY SKIRT, YOU MUST LoOK, TO SEE YOUR FUTURE. No. 69370 Ages 4 and STAR up YODA EMPIRE STRIKEST WARS THE JEDI MASTER Kemer CEeot BE HE ANSWERS ALL K

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THIS IS THE HARRY POTTER NIMBUS 2000 VIBRATING BROOM. Sadly. they're no longer sold. E026 It's a dick- shaped toy that vibrates 12 0 when children sti

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20 Real Official Merchandise Items No One Thought Through

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MACFARLANE STUDIOS RECENTLY ANNOUNCED THE RELEASE OF A NEW SERIES OF WALKING DEAD ACTION FIGURES. Included: Mud Walker, Carl Grimes, Michonne and Gare

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20 Real Official Merchandise Items No One Thought Through

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THE PUNISHER SHAPE SHIFTER IS SO GLAD TO SEE YOU. In the interest of full disclosure, we should note that he's pictured mid-transformation, at left. H

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THE SNOOPY 560 NO-CONE Snoopy ORIONAL Snocone Machine MACHINE MAKE A A TGEAT SNOOPY CONTAINS TASTY WITH ICE CUBES A FLANOR PACK! LOOSE BRASS RIVET WAR

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HAVe YOU eVer FeLT THe URGe TO Re-enact THE MARSH MELON' SCeNE. FROM STAR TREK V? Then this marshmallow dispenser is for SIATKEKI you. It's got M110

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THE MISSILES LAUNCHED BY THIS BATTLESTAR GALACTICA TOY ACTUALLY PROVED DEADLY TO KIDS. The launcher caused ripped intestines, eye injuries, and one de

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ARCHIE BUNKER'S GRANDSON IS A BABY DOLL WITH A PENIS. The toy was released during the heyday of All in ARCHIE BUNKER'S the Family, a '70s sitcom GRA

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THIS CANDY TREAIT LES YOU AR AR BINKS. SAR po DS ww We're assuming it tastes like thinly-veiled racism.

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THESE 19777 WONDER WOMAN SCISSORS SEEM CONFUSED ABOUT HOW CROTCHES WORK. She also seems to have an extra boob. htto hyowy wamaron comintaooWonder-Woma

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YOU CAN COLOR IN BARON HARKONNEN'S WEEPING PUSTULES IN THIS DUNE-THEMED ACTIVITY BOOK FOR KIDS. DUNE ACTIVITYBOOK FHM8BMHIA Dune was a trippy sci-fi d

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Lucky Dora the Explorer fans could buy this limited edition Aquapet in 2006. Aquapets are similar to Tamagotchis, with buttons for interacting with a

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GO TO THIRD BASe AND BEYOND. WITH THIS BUZZ LIGHTYEAR FUNTIME TUMBLER! BPA The version that's currently available for sale has the straw on the other

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1. REMOVE THE PLUG FROM BATMAN'S BUTT. 2. FILL WITH WATER. 3. PUMP HIS TRICGER. 4. SQUIRT YOUR FRIENDS! CRAGKEDCONT Whto/herocomolex latimes.comiuncat

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KIDS IN THE '80S COULD RE-ENACT THEIR FAVORITE FACE-RAPING SCENES FROM THE ALIEN FRANCHISE WITH MICRO MACHINES. oMlochines A WARNING: ALIENS DOOGNOARO

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IN 1989. MATCHBOX CAME OUT WITH A TALKING FREDDY KRUECER DOLL. The toy was intended TIATONSOT AMigare for ages 8 and up. ON ELM STREET Hi. From a movi

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