22 Facts That Shatter Your Image of American Presidents

We've talked before about how badass presidents are, with their badass pets and badass upbringings and badass crimes against humanity. But we're about drop some knowledge on that ass: Presidents are human. ("WERE human" for you pedants.)

And humans, by and large, are total dipshits. The leaders of the free world, past and present, are no exception. With the help of Nixon's biggest fan, AuntieMeme, we're here to teach you why all of America's presidents were kinda dumb.

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Reagan's schedule was set by astrology. From 1981 through 1989, Reagan consulted astrologer Joan Quigley before scheduling any events. According to he

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George Washington was really bad at war. When it came to strategy, His near-perfect record Washington lost virtually of retreat and defeat every major

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Zachary Taylor died from eating too many cherries. Taylor drank an entire pitcher of milk and ate a huge bowl of cherries at a Fourth of July picnic.

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John Q. Adams thought the Earth was hollow. He greenlighted an expedition to prove it, at taxpayer expense. Adams. 2010 Memoirs ofJohn Quincy Adams.

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Ulysses S. Grant was alarmingly timid. Grant was terrifiied by the sight of blood-even rare steaks freaked him out. He was also so painfully shy that

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Franklin Pierce was a party animal. [Franklin Pierce] and I dined at the Tremont at one o'clock, a glass of brandy and water before, a pint of champa

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William Howard Taft was too fat for the White House bathtub. At 330 lbs, Taft was by far the largest president America has ever had. He had a special,

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Richard Nixon plotted to assassinate a newspaper columnist. abc Jack Anderson dogged Nixon for 40 years, exposing corruption throughout his political

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Gerald Ford was a fashion model. He was even part-owner of a modeling agency. An Novet t Cosmomalitan xt EIDZ Here he is on the cover of Cosmo. htto:/

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braham Lincoln had a high-pitched voice. Lincoln's voice was, when he first began speaking, shrill, squeaking, piping, unpleasant. -William H. Hernd

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James Madison was tiny. He was 5'4 - inches shorter than the presidential average and Weighed 100 lbs. He was also the first president to wear trouser

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LYndon B. Johnson called his dick Jumbo. He acted like he was on a mission to wave it at, and stick it in, as many people as possible. He made a habit

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Thomas Jefferson couldn't speak in public. He lacked charisma, and had terrible stage fright. Throughout his presidency, he only gave two speeches- on

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Herbert Hoover demanded that White House staff be invisible. Any time Hoover or the First Lady entered a room, White House servants were expected to j

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Marilyn Monroe was just the tip of the iceberg, for JFK. Marilun Adrey Jaupne Florinda Angie Blaze Kennedy once told British Prime Minister Harold Mac

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John Tyler was nicknamed His Accidency. He became president when William Henry Harrison died, and was one of the most hated presidents in history. H

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FDR wore dresses until he was five. Gender-specific clothing is actually a fairly recent invention. hmpwmwcassroomhelo.cormlosonsProsdentsfroosovolim

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Warren G. Harding had a gambling problem. He once lost the entire White House china set in a poker game. htiolmilercenterorgorosidonthardnglessaysblog

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Doctors trying to save James Garfield caused his death. Garfield had been shot, and doctors used a metal detector newly invented by Alexander Graham B

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Grover cleveland married a woman he helped raise. Her name was Frances Folsom, and she was 28 years younger than Cleveland. He supervised her upbringi

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Dwight Eisenhower couldn't work a telephone. Ike was used to having his aides make calls for him, and was geninely baffled by a dial tone. htolhwwclas

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Bill clinton lost the Nuclear Launch Codes. He didn't just leave them in his other pants. They were missing for months. h.couklnewsvorldnaitancasa /80

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