Real-Life Things Characters Don't Have To Deal With

There's a lot of reasons we wouldn't want to live in fictional universes. Everyone dies violently in Westeros. In Wreck-It Ralph, your existence could be snuffed out by the pull of a plug. If Superman's on your planet, just ... Superman's bad news. But we'd put up with all that hassle if it meant we could have some of these perks.

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Get reborn in a sitcom, and you'll never knock on doors again. You can simply turn the knob and walk right in, because the door will always be ready f

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A typical breakfast on TV beats anything you'll ever eat. Expect a giant fruit platter, freshly squeezed juice, and a mountain of homemade pancakes. I

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Unsure when to clap? In, movies, just follow the leader. Attendees follow a fixed protocol that saves everyone from individual responses. Everyone wai

18

Kitchens are crowded and busy. But not in movies. Run to a real restaurant kitchen, and a waiter will block you and question what you're doing. In a m

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When you return home from out, you shed your shoes. Not SO on TV. A character will come home and go right to chilling on their bed in combat boots. Th

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Has a character ever had to wait hours in the airport? Not because the plot says someone needs to catch up with them, but just because there's bad wea

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Ever struggle to find a cab? Movie people never do. Step out of any building in a movie, and boom, a cab will be right there. Try that anywhere in the

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How would you get from a roof down to the street? Probably take stairs to get back inside and then take more stairs or an elevator the rest of the way

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Before Sex, you need a quick talk about birth control. In movies, you'll likely never hear characters mention condoms or the pill, unless the movie's

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Movie characters are free from the burden of irrelevant TV. NEWS BREAKING NEWS FLASH CRISIS WORSENS A character phones another and says, Go see what'

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Don't like finishing meals? In movies, you never have to. In a movie, you'll stand up in the middle of a meal and leave with your food unfinished or u

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In movies, vast spaces separate every lane and vehicle. In real life, if you try leaving three cars' worth of room between yourself and the car in fro

9

Makeup rarely runs in movies, or smears, or rubs off. It remains in place even if you've been crying, or swimming, or if there's blood and dust all ov

8

Real-life muscles demand daily training. But look at any guy in a movie, and you'll swear the default male physique involves bulging pecs. Every guy i

7

In real life, we stumble and pause when talking. But actors learn lines and deliver them effortlessly, even though that's not how real people talk. Th

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When you leave the house, you have to lock up. Not SO movie characters, who immediately speed off. Same deal when they leave their cars. We have no ch

5

Heroes never need to worry about stray bullets. In real-life firefights (and we don't just mean shootings where the attacker targets the public), civi

4

TV characters get sick, and grab tissues. But you know what you'll never see? A great big booger, just hanging loose out of one character's nostril. O

3

Ever stopped before a door, unsure whether to push or pull? Or make the wrong choice, feel dumb for a moment, then try again? Don't feel stupid. This

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Every time a character turns on their car radio, a song starts. Try that yourself. You'll get a DJ or an ad. If you lived in a movie, you'd be blessed

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TV rain means getting close under an umbrella. When rain's heavy enough for YOU to break out the umbrella, expect wind to yank that umbrella around or