Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes

Cracked fans have always been brilliant and hilarious, and we're not just saying that. Okay, maybe we are, but it's because we gave them a task, on Facebook, and they did not disappoint.

We asked them to tell us what happened next, in the following story:
The cheerleaders gasped in awe as they entered the musty and derelict chateau. It was truly generous of Count von Blutkuchen to host regionals on his family's ancestral estate, particularly on a full moon.

Then we threw the responses into a shredder and photoshopped the results.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"The lights flickered as thunder rumbled across the sky." -- Elizabeth H.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"The girls arrived at the door to be greeted by a shadowy figure." -- Ka K.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"From the nearby boysenberry bush, a solitary Rottweiler watched with vicarious eyes and hungry nostrils." -- Paul K.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"Sandy, the team captain, looked over the grand foyer and noticed a small, dusty gold monkey statue on a pedestal in the far right corner." -- Jason R.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"The Count entered the room room slowly, greeting his guests." -- Brett M.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"Brandishing pink pom poms..." -- Macaco C.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"'Count Von Blutkuchen of the Glendale Von Blutkuchen I presume?' Becky said holding the severed head of one of the Draculette's in one hand and a pompom in the other..." -- Jordan C.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"Upon forming that eldritch sigil with their bodies (the quadrilateral triangle, that is) the cheerleaders' skin began to glow..." -- Scott H.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"'I broke a nail' cried Becky..." -- Peggy A.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"Rick and Morty busted their way into this story, even though they clearly were not wanted." -- Kyle M.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"Blood cake?" -- Robyn M.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"It was at this point that John realized his marketing pitch for the Juiceanator may have gone off track..." -- Chris B.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"The cheerleaders stared in confusion as Von Blutkuchen realized their 'glowing' skin was merely the combination of their self-tanner and body glitter." -- Cody M.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"Just then, a man came out of the darkness..." -- David M.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"A Werewolf who likes to Tap Dance." -- Ethan W.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"*Jerry arrives*" -- Jason B.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"All the girls start screaming..." -- Lisa C.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"It ends with an old lady telling a bunch of cheerleaders that that was how she found out she was double jointed and into older guys..." -- David F.

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Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"Joss Whedon sat stunned when the title credits began to roll. What was supposed to be a work for the ages had been ruined and his name was still attached." -- Kyle M.

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