Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes

Cracked fans have always been brilliant and hilarious, and we're not just saying that. Okay, maybe we are, but it's because we gave them a task, on Facebook, and they did not disappoint.

We asked them to tell us what happened next, in the following story:
The cheerleaders gasped in awe as they entered the musty and derelict chateau. It was truly generous of Count von Blutkuchen to host regionals on his family's ancestral estate, particularly on a full moon.

Then we threw the responses into a shredder and photoshopped the results.


Cracked Storytime: Count Von Blutkuchen Meets The Draculettes"The lights flickered as thunder rumbled across the sky." -- Elizabeth H.


CRACKED CON "The girls arrived at the door to be greeted by a shadowy figure." -- Ka K.


CRACKED CON "From the nearby boysenberry bush, a solitary Rottweiler watched with vicarious eyes and hungry nostrils." -- Paul K.


CRACKED CON "Sandy, the team captain, looked over the grand foyer and noticed a small, dusty gold monkey statue on a pedestal in the far right corner." -- Jason R.


CRACKED CON "The Count entered the room room slowly, greeting his guests." -- Brett M.


CRACKED CON "Brandishing pink pom poms..." -- Macaco C.


CRACKED CON "'Count Von Blutkuchen of the Glendale Von Blutkuchen I presume?' Becky said holding the severed head of one of the Draculette's in one hand and a pompom in the other..." -- Jordan C.


CRACKED CON "Upon forming that eldritch sigil with their bodies (the quadrilateral triangle, that is) the cheerleaders' skin began to glow..." -- Scott H.


CRACKED CON "'I broke a nail' cried Becky..." -- Peggy A.


CRACKED COM "Rick and Morty busted their way into this story, even though they clearly were not wanted." -- Kyle M.


G "Blood cake?" -- Robyn M.


B 2 JUICEANATOR GRACKED.COM "It was at this point that John realized his marketing pitch for the Juiceanator may have gone off track..." -- Chris B.


CRACKED CON "The cheerleaders stared in confusion as Von Blutkuchen realized their 'glowing' skin was merely the combination of their self-tanner and body glitter." -- Cody M.


CRACKED.COM "Just then, a man came out of the darkness..." -- David M.


CRACKED CON "A Werewolf who likes to Tap Dance." -- Ethan W.


CRACKED CON "*Jerry arrives*" -- Jason B.


CRACKED CO "All the girls start screaming..." -- Lisa C.


CRACKED CO "It ends with an old lady telling a bunch of cheerleaders that that was how she found out she was double jointed and into older guys..." -- David F.


A JOSS WHEDON FILM "Joss Whedon sat stunned when the title credits began to roll. What was supposed to be a work for the ages had been ruined and his name was still attached." -- Kyle M.