27 Childhood (Now Terrifying) Toys

Obviously in our formative years, these toys look badass. And while we understand that hindsight is 20/20, come on -- these things should've never graced our sticky little hands.

Our readers compiled the toys that look less child-friendly, and more like the manufacturer had it out for kids. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

27
Entry by krakenkraked

CUTE Aotch HELLO,MASTER votchr TAMAGOTCHI I'M HERE AGAIN IN YOUR DREAMS, AS USUAL I KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN 1997 SOMEDAY, SOMEONE WILL YOU LET ME DIE ALO

26
Entry by andrealibs

TERMINATOR BIO-FLESH REGENERATOR 00L Mold and Destroy Your Ow LE c0 BARET Terminatorl THREE EASY STEPS! 1. Mix flesh paste 2. Fill with Schwarzenegger

25
Entry by LilySprite

CRAGKEDOOM SCONDO Sex toy Wiggtes watar Children's toy M

FO ACS POGNS OUTRAGEOUS OER CREATURES THAT COME ALIVE IN YOUR HANDS' Flesh-like texture Eyes that move Looks like aborted troll fetus ON BO POKE BARS!

23
Entry by Chris Rio

CRAGKEDo ROCODILD This is the DENTIST new version of DURn DENTISTRYI WHAT DID IT Look LIKE BEFORE? E feed on the Thumbs of Children

22
Entry by sidestepper

From the same publisher that brought you classics like Operation comes another game that sheds comic light on what is otherwise a wholly traumatic exp

21
Entry by Scott Laffey

GRACKEDCON playmobil bank and safe playset buat open the ATM with the it ACTION screwdriver playmobil RIS 4-10 126 p0 5177 of 9 full blown Patty hears

20
Entry by ShaneHero

HI KIDS! WE'RE VINCE AND LARRY, THE CRASH DUMMIES. LAN COME WITH US AS WE TEACH YOU ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF SAFETY BELTS, AND... DEAR GOD! I'Ve KI

19
Entry by MrWilson

Olef Fun: Reinforcing Ethnic Stereotypes SPANISH While Glamorizing Barlie Animal Cruelty. A WIME CRACKED COM

18
Entry by Sesilia

In the 1980s, a series of dolls called Mi Bebe dolls were being sold for children. The head, legs, and hands were made with soft, rubbery material a

17
Entry by LilySprite

CRACKED.COM SDETHOBARBIE BEBATE Rollerblade Barbie had skates that light up.. . Barbie llicker's Rollerbiade Skates &ool Because they were basically l

We need Well, GI Joe is an idea fora selling like toy! hotcakes... new GCOEB + FOOIT GHenS

15
Entry by bazooka

Jill a real- life equivalent of the Twilight Zone's Talky Tina' doll, animatedy by half a ton of batteries, and a guaranteed nightmare-starter for an

14
Entry by El Zoof

Cool! Transfor oh, these are Go-Bots? Uh, okay. Soooo, what do they turn into? Hahaha! Good one. No seriously, what do they turn into? ARE YOU FUCKING

13
Entry by SarahMarshall

Hey Kids! Sey helle te Beby Woo Wee! Gamet IL's just like heving Your very 6oun baby! amia Eopecielly the port where you ickle his belly And he roises

12
Entry by Scott Laffey

MNNL NEDRY Trann Snry on Dimo Damage JURASSIC PARK P CARS NEDRY ACTION FIGURE THE LIKENESS IS UNCANNY! CRACKEDOON

11
Entry by krakenkraked

27 Childhood (Now Terrifying) Toys

10
Entry by TheMrs1388

Feed e w A dou who chews Patch Totally won't eat Kids abbage your: fuicking hairr SNACKTIME KID while you sleep! CRACKED COM

9
Entry by themadtongue

MaxOut Your Credit! CRACKEDOON Get Unlimiteds $ from Spend: Spend: Spend: the ATM! MALLMAONE MB BLECTRONIC SFREE GAME SHOPAING TALKING THe Oun alin W

8
Entry by ShaneHero

The T-1000 in Terminator 2 could change into any person or shape he wanted to. He had countless cool scenes in the movie, and tons of posibilities for

7
Entry by Scott Laffey

PUPPY SURPRISE teaching the wonders of dog whelping! 'How many puppies are there inside? There could be 3! Or 4! Or 5!?' CRACKEDCONT

6
Entry by mightyzamfir

CRASH EST BARNE FaTsiates LOAD HIM AND LAUNCH HIMI MATTEL O FOTACASLANOOVER ONA OLON LOAD BARNEY ONTO THE CATAPULT, HE LANDS WITH PULL LEVER BREAK NEC

5

1OD FOR AGESTAOVER MLAID CRACKEDCON A Yank Out Alien SCIENTIST Organs Dripping in Glowing ALIEN BLOOD! DISSECT-AN-ALIEN When he gets tired of this, ma

4
Entry by mkad

Why did CRACKEDcO CLUB HOuSE 1980's boys get their NES own buddy to play My Butddy with. A Real Pal AUP PLamaiou Keep out while girls PLAY HOUSE in th

3
Entry by ShadowSnacker

In 1992 we saw our fun loving pal Michelangelo turn into an angry mexican stereotype. In an effort to pack even more racism into the Wacky Wild West

2
Entry by bazooka

CRACKEDCOR MUSCLE Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere Or To Your Mom Miniature Ugly Shit Children Lose Easily abit-forming collecti

1
Entry by Garam

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE ROBS A 7-ELEVEN WITH MEGATRON CRACKED.COM

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