These 18 Ill-Conceived Toys Are An Embarrassment To Humanity

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Toys are carefully planned investments that companies spend countless hours developing in the hopes that children will use them to foster memories that they'll cherish for a lifetime. Sometimes.

Other times, toys are incredibly ill-conceived, embarrassing garbage that toy companies really want you to forget about. But we can't have that.

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CRACKEDCON POLE! IT'S A STRIPPER FOR PRETEENS! pee kabo Poe This toy stripper pole, complete with a garter and money to stuff into it, could be found

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CRACKED co DIDN'T LAST BARBIE OREO THE SHELVES. LONG ON Oreo Barbie, born in 1997 from a cross- ss-promotional partnership between Mattel and Nabisco,

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CRACKEDCON TO PLAY WANTED YOU ALWAYS OF EGYPT. THE PLAGUES IT. WITH DON'T DENY und 23erH oDesD PLAGUES befohl auget atent, borgen de If anything is ri

15

OF A JUMBLE SPIRIT WAS SHAPE IN THE STEREOTYPES FIGURE. OF AN ACTION Everything about G.I. Joe figure Spirit was a Native American stereotype, startin

14

CRACKEDCON THAN A CUDDLIER WHAT'S BABY? A PREMATURE BABY! In a misguided attempt at... well, something, Coleco released preemie Cabbage Patch Kids in

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CRACKEDCO BABY PRINCESS DIANA WILL HAUNT YOU. Ashton-Drake Galleries makes creepy realistic baby dolls for adults to treat like real infants. Not dist

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CRACKEDCON MOST WAS THE THIS TRICYCLE EVER. RECALL OBVIOUS The Disney Princess Plastic Racing Trike brings a fantasy kingdom close to your children. S

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CRACKEDCON KING IS TRULY JESUS OF KITSCH. Who knew Jesus was SO kick-ass at such a variety of activities? And the crown of thorns doesn't seem to both

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CRACKEDGO O'NEIL WILL SHOW APRIL GOOD TIME. YOU A Hey, do you remember that episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where April was a streetwalker? Ne

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PINK RIBBON wrer BARBIE HOW SHOWED GLAMOROUS CANCER CANCER CAN BE. In 2006, Mattel wanted to honor breast cancer survivors with their Pink Ribbon Barb

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CRACKED CO JESUS WILL ANSWER GOD YOUR PRAYERS! GOD*JESUS SL1O2K 1e-ez $03 GACIi Sorry you had to find out this way, but the deity many of you pray to

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CRACKED cO GO HIKING WITH KARL YOU CAN AND HIS FRIENDS! MARX OuNAY Japanese toy maker Mountain Research released a foursome of surveyors modeled after

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AMAZONIA WOULD BARBIE LOST IN FEEL THE ACTUAL AMAZON. You'd have to travel the Amazon for years to find the one person Amazonia Barbie was inspired by

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CRACKED COM SHOW BABYZ BRATZ TOO YOUNG YOU'RE NEVER MINX. TO BE A These dolls went through the whole process of being conceived, designed, pitched, ap

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EasyBake ARE uD FINGERS BURN EASY TO WITH THE EASY-BAKE. For decades, the Easy-Bake Oven has allowed countless children to bake delicious, diabetes- i

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CRACKED cO TO IT DEAD CHILDREN TOOK DARTS. BAN LAWN Cootais: JAVELIN DARTS- 2 TARGET CIRCLES HASBRO JAVELIN DARTS If you're going, What the hell were

2

AS A MONKEY? A BLACK PERSON ADORABLE! SAID. SOMEBODY EVER OBJECT. WILL NO ONE A sock monkey representing Barack Obama was released by a Utah-based

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PEEAPOO PLUSHIES SWEDISH SH*T OUT THE WILL CONFUSE OF YOUR CHILDREN. Pec&poo There's making toilet training fun, and there's encouraging your toddlers

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