21 Mic Drop Comeback Burns

We've all been in that situation where someone issued us a burn and we just couldn't think up a comeback. These people didn't need to wait until they were on the crapper hours later to think of a witty retort.

Our readers dove head first into Google and came out with some of the most awesome comebacks from all of history. Winner got $200 ...

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Entry by John E.

GRACKEDO No, it did lots of other things too James Joyce Response to a fan who asked, May I kiss the hand that wrote Ulysses?

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Entry by MinorShan

Shia LaBeouf Follow CAMPANCAE @thecampaignbook GEL DOUCHE You have my apologies for offending you for thinking I was being serious AUZIARI NICE instea

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When the results of the first experiment to prove general relativity right arrived, Einstein showed them to his assistant, Ilsa Rosenthal-Schneider Ov

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Entry by Joe Oliveto

Upon seeing Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, Kevin Smith pointed out that the ending of the movie seemed to come straight out of a comic he wrote. In

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Entry by JomSadie

Regardina mv recent interview, I wasn't actually sleeping. I'm a beta tester for Google Eyelids and... ...! was merely taking the opportunity to updat

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Entry by John E.

When a physician said to him, 'You have lived to be an old man,' he said. 'That is because I never employed you as my physician.' -Pausanias, 5th cent

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Entry by DandyBerlin

CRACKED.co COM When asked why he had SO many bitches, Playboy magnate Hugh Hefner replied, I have a lot of girlfriends because I don't call them bi

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Entry by LucyVanPelt

AFTER HE MADE SUPER MARIO BROS, DENNIS HOPPER WAS ASKED BY HIS THEN SIX-YEAR-OLD SON HENRY WHY DID HE PLAY KING KOOPA HOPPER ASWERED WELL HENRY, I DI

13
Entry by GallopGhost

IN 1954 A SENATE SUBCOMMITTEE HELD HEARINGS ON JUVENILE DELINQUENCY WITH A FOCUS ON COMIC BOOKS. SHOCK ...WHY DOES THE NORMAL CHILD SPEND so MUCH TIM

12
Entry by John E.

CRACKED.COM But when we open our dikes, the waters are ten feet deep. - Queen Wilhelmina (1880 - 1962) Dutch monarch. Replying to a boast by German

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

CRACKED COM W.C Fields, who was a staunch atheist, was found by his good friend leafing through the Bible on his deathbed. His friend. Gene Fowler. as

10
Entry by mkad

Vincent Gallo, let, directed the movie The Brown Bunny. Roger Ebert said it was the worst movie in the history of the Cannes Film Festival. Gallo call

9
Entry by faustus37

Jeremy Roenick andipatrick Roy were two of the NHL'STOP players in the 1990s. During the 1996playoffs Roenick taunted the goaltender by saying, I jus

8
Entry by Sesilia

Tallulah Bankhead was generous with her cocaine and often offered it to herfriends. When asked ifit was habit forming, her usual response was, Cocain

7
Entry by flyboat

Groucho: Eleven?! Did you say eleven kids? (after finding out the contestant has 11) Contestant: Well, I love my husband. Groucho: Lady, I love my cig

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

CRACKED C COM Faulkner once criticised Hemingway's writing style: He has never been known to word that use a might send the reader to a dictionary.

5
Entry by Kelan

WHEN HIS WIFE CAUGHT HIM KISSING ANOTHER WOMaN, CHICO MARX'S RESPONSE WAS: I WASN'T KISSING HER. I WAS JUST WHISPERING IN HER MOUTH.

4
Entry by John E.

CRACKEDc With all my heart. Whose wife shall it be? - John Horne Tooke (1736-1812) British lawyer, clergyman, and politician. Replying to the sugges

3
Entry by davlee1991

At a press conference in 1958 a reporter asked Elvis Presley: Elvis, what's youn idea of the ideal girl' Female, sir. Elvis replied: CRACKED COM

2
Entry by S Peter Davis

DEUCE BIGALOW EUROPEAN GIGOLO PATRICK GOLDSTEIN ...a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to inve

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Entry by tigonhawk

AFTER SIGNING AN AUTOGRAPH FOR A WOMAN IN A BUSY RESTAURANT, TRUMAN CAPOTE WAS APPROACHED BY HER JEALOUS. DRUNK HUSBAND. THE HUSBAND PULLED OUT HIS PE

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