The Top 25 Pieces of Movie Merchandise Too Awesome To Exist

Between those sad plastic light sabers and the even sadder Vote for Pedro shirts, the movie merchandise industry clearly doesn't try very hard.

We asked you about the merchandise that would exist if only Hollywood had the balls to make it, and offered money to whoever could photoshop the most ball-flatteningly awesome example.

25
Entry by Sanchez .

DIETRICH TORT MELT YOUR OWN! RAIDER WAX lo57 RRA NAZIS CRACKED.COM

24
Entry by chefwhit

The Top 25 Pieces of Movie Merchandise Too Awesome To Exist

23
Entry by Mike Huang

JASON BOURNE'S HOMEMADE CAN OF ALMIGHTY WHUP-ASS ENERGY DRINK GRACKED.OM

22
Entry by S Peter Davis

AGES 5+ 262103 aet WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD-Snail parts Nof for chddren under 3 years Philip Seymour Hoffman capote CRACKEDCOME

21

IOREK BYRNISON Life-Size! Remote-Controlled! Battenes not included CRACKED.cM

20
Entry by Fairview

WArDisNEy FNCHANTE Little Dress Maker Kit CRACKED.TCOM

19
Entry by fancytaco

A CLocKWORK ORAMCE DECULPTURE SCULPTURE O good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolence. CRACKED HOM

18

TAWD When there's no more room in your tummy... ... The Dead will Walk the Earth. RASBERRY GOO-FILLED! LIFE-SIZE M OMHIE WOTM ea CRACKED.coM

17
Entry by Ian Fortey

nolas LAFE Mdm ArAe HIS CURSE BECOMES YOUR HEAD'S POWER CRACKED.cOM

16
Entry by Gibbo69

The Top 25 Pieces of Movie Merchandise Too Awesome To Exist

15
Entry by AnnArrogance

BASIIB The 9 1/2 Weeks MOKEY ROUR Children's Food Playset! THEY pok EVER RIL Break every rule... just like ss Woaks Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger! SO

14
Entry by Bishopwhitet

THE DEER HUNTER Gar Game Board Bo: tt BONUS!!! 5 Extra bullets inside!!! HEDEERHON CRACKED.EOM

13
Entry by AnnArrogance

The Buffalo BillHome Sewing Machine Buffalo Bill B CRACKED.OM

12
Entry by Bishopwhitet

C COOL ICE GIANI GAN! SIZE SIZE DOUCHEBAG m CRACKED.COM

11
Entry by boredatwork

Catch me $ if you can Forgery Kit! You can do it too! U CRACKED COM

10
Entry by Krick

SUPERMAN Powers* Cape! CRACKED.cOM

9
Entry by Mike Huang

Laboratory tested. OFFICLAL SPIDER-mAn 3 So it is guaranteed not to kill!* VEnor S4MIOTE IT GETS UNDEa 4OUA SHInI EDIBLE EDD PAINT emine may eflects c

8
Entry by Mella

ALIENS PULSE RIFLE FIRES REAL CAUSTIC ACid! 98 CRACKED.cOM

7
Entry by Mella

SAl Beartrap Recreate your favorite scene! CRACKED.COM ages 3 and up

6
Entry by Pr3

24 THE DRINK OF YOU DON'T BUY THOS WIH JADK BAUM VIALZEE RIGHT NOW, THEN IT'LL JUST BEY AN MIND BE A QUESTION OF HOW MUCH YOU WANT IT TO HURT. CRACKED

5
Entry by Rubbin Hood

IT GAVE us A MOVIE! NOW SEE WHAT IT CAN GIVE you! AMERICAN d *MOULDED GEL INSERT FOR YOUR COMFORT CRACKED.G

4
Entry by Sanchez .

Never again have no reason to drink your own piss KEVIN COSTNER'S WATERWORLD PISS-DRINKINNG MACHINE CRACKED.coM

3
Entry by ginchael

Srenn Drararmcrouam NEW Quietus in As seen flim the hit af Ment' childeen at y Na Y Y Ees NSE hour w t 24 Kit 7b60 Suicide Ador tacbitoek 0 x lencod

2
Entry by Zaws

DV veritus CLOVERFIELD DV Monsterproof wweInveralimavisenm/ CRACKED.HOM

1
Entry by Sanchez .

STAR WARS DARTH VADER FORCE VADER FORCE GLOVES VADERIL RELEASE HER! Keaner. CRACKED.cOM

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