Horror Movie Character Logic That Falls Apart In Three Steps

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

It's that time of year, when everyone sits down to binge some serious horror movies, because apparently we've forgotten how idiotically horror movie characters behave. We're here to remind you what utter dummies the characters in scary movies actually are, by distilling their thought processes into handy three-step diagrams.

17

1. HALLOWEEN WEAR A COSTUME OVER A COSTUME! 2. JODIT MYERS SPEND HOURS CREATINGTABLEAUX! 3. ALWAYS REMEMBER TO SHAVE! CRACKED.COM

16
Entry by Sonny Time

Ftr OFF LOMBIES. GET BITTEN. TELL PEORLE YOU'RE FNE. CRACKED COM

15
Entry by PedroH

1. CRACKED.COM Be an alien species whose 'weakness is water. 2. Invade a planet that's basically 0 a big water ball. 3. Do it naked.

14
Entry by Quinton Darby

1. Hey look! It's that psycho from earlier. 2. He's throwing bodies down that pipe! 3. *sigh Do you wanna go down there or should I? CRACKED COM

13
Entry by ERRiley

1. Experiment is an epic failure. 2. Try again. Even bigger failure. 3. Keep trying, expecting different result.

12
Entry by T. S. Obiech

RUN. TRIP. DIE. CRACKEDOON

11

1. PUT YOUR SOUL INSIDE A DOLL! 2. FIND AVULNERABLE NEW HOST BODY! 3. FART AROUND AND NEVER ACTUALLY PERFORMTHE RITUAL!

10

1. Notice that some guys on a boat are trying to kill you. 2. Put something they hit you with in your mouth. 3. Continue to approach them. (Jaws)

9
Entry by PedroH

1. Meet possessed girl. 2. Attempt exorcism. 3. IF it fails, literally beat the devil out of her.

8
Entry by masta_X

Receive a creepy doll: Keep it. Strange shet starts happening: 2 Get rid of it Relocate and the creepy doll still shows up: Keep it. CRACKED COM

7

GRACKEDcO 1L. LIVE LIFE AS A SINCERELYEVIL CHILDPREDATOR! 2. GET SPOOKY EVIL DREAM POWERS! 3. DROP THE EVILAND BECOME A CLOWN!

6
Entry by fuzzydan

1. FIND AN OMINOUS-LOOKING BOOK BOUND IN FLESH AND RAPPED IN BARBED-WIRE DNT SAYIT Pov WRITE 2. DISCOVER THE BOOK IS FILLED WITH DIRE WARNINGS NOT TO

5
Entry by PollyDarton

CRACKEDCO THE 1. VVITCH Be terrified of a literal witch in the woods. 2. Swear that you are not the witch in the woods. 3. Become one of the witches (

4

-CRACKEDCOM 1. ACCCEPT A PRETEEN PATIENT. 2. CONSTANTLY TELL EVERYONE HE'S PURE EVILAY 3. SPEND THE NIGHT HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE.

3
Entry by BuffaloGreg

l. CRACKEIDCON Borrow the tape of that creepy girl from your niece. She won't mind.) 2. Get So wrapped up in your investigative journalism that you...

2
Entry by Sonny Time

CRACKED CO COM FIGHT. FINISH HIM. Or not. Drop his blade and walk away.