Everything Wrong With These 15 Movies, In Chart Form

Everything's easier to understand with charts.
Everything Wrong With These 15 Movies, In Chart Form

It's hard to sum up in as few words as possible why potentially great movies ended up as giant piles of shit. Fortunately, we have charts to consolidate our thoughts into succinctly pretty pictures. Because everyone loves pictures, dammit.

So let's look at some pretty pictures of Hollywood turds.

Everything Wrong With These 15 Movies, In Chart Form
The Magnificent Seven's Motivations Tragic: Backstory $ Chance to look cool. Lean on walls and stuff. CRAGKEDCON
TERMINATOR FILMS Directed by James Cameron NOT Directed by James Cameron CRACKED.COM
50% 50% A fascinating Another generic study concerning the 'macho' war film. dehumanisation of military recruits. Stanley Kubrick's FULL METAL JACKET
People Who Played Ghostface in SCRE4 M TO TO 6'6 6'6 6'O 6'0 5'6 5'6 5'0 5'0 4'6 4'6 4'O 4'o 6'1 3'6 5'6 3'6 3'O 5'2 3'0 Dane Farw
Movies based on Nicholas Sparks' novels Two heterosexual, Caucasian people in a small town, bond over their differences and kiss in the rain, a lot An
JURASSI PARK T. rex Not T. rex CRACKED
DIRTY grandpa 50% CRAP 50% SH*T
CRACKED CON NOSTALGIA youe MOVE STERMINATOR RRUBOOIP TOTAL RECALL PG-13
JAR JAR GREEN SCREEN MIDI-CHLORIANS LIAM NEESON PHONING STAR WARS EPISODE I IT IN THE PHANTOM MENACE GIVING LUCAS FULL CREATIVE CONTROL
IAMISCAMERON'S AVATAR 33% 33% WEIRD GLOWY ALIEN STUFF HAIR SEX TO MAKE WITH YOU GO EVERYTHING OOH 33% MOTION SICKNESS INDUCING GIMMICKY 3D EFFECTS
ROCKY Sylvester Stallone's Dialogue. Adrian! Indecipherable CRACKEDOON
Everything Wrong With These 15 Movies, In Chart Form
POP CULTURE REFERENCES MADE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO SHEENA EASTON TRALFAMADORE A R R V A L
CRACKEDcO THE FILM ADAPTATION THE SOURCE MATERIAL HOBBIT THE

Aside from our photoplasties ($100 per contest), we are paying out 10 winners for our macro contests. And YES, you can win all 10 spots ($350 payout) if you've got the skills to blow our minds that many times.

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