14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/19)

The news these days is pretty much like Napoleon Dynamite's uncle Rico -- full of shit, bad ideas, and is kind of depressing. And, yeah, it probably has a mustache, because why not?

Luckily for you, our readers have taken this week's popular headlines and stripped them of all the bullshit so you can quickly digest all the important stuff, and spend as little time with a sad, creepy uncle as possible.

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Entry by mrlarry

billboard CRACKEDOON Grammys 2016 News, Hot 100 Billboard 200 Charts, Vide Protesters Protest Protesters Protesting Protest Beyonce performs during th

13
Entry by Aeracryon

CN Entertainment 'Desdpool' movie review CRACKED.GOM Record number of 7 year old children attend R-rated movie EOMA Ryan Reynolds corrupts innocent yo

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Entry by bazooka

CNN Money U.S. tickers The Feed Burger King exposes wiener CING CRACKEDOON

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Entry by mrlarry

THE HUFFINGTON POST FRONT PAGE POLITICS WORLD ENTERTAINMENT SPORT LIFE FOOD TRAVEL INNOVATION BLOG WHAT Self Proclaimed Freedom Of Speech Advocates

10
Entry by ColorMe_Yosh

GAME OF THRONES Game of Thrones season 6 photos confirm nothing about the fate of the one character viewers are curious about Sansa and Theon, a stand

9
Entry by foxjasond

FIFAcor Governance FOOTBALL GOVERNANCE Investigation confirms top FIFA official is corrupt; the sky is blue; bears s#%* in the woods (FIFA.com) 12 Feb

8
Entry by VALDAKIS

U.S. Intellectual author of torture, murder, extortion and other human rights violations, pleads guilty to a misdemeanor and might get up to 6 months

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E POLITICO Magazine 2016Election Policy 4 THE NAL PRE LUB JumWebb'16 SHARES WHERE ADENS PR RG f bo JimWebb 16 CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT www.webb2016.co

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Entry by Kevin King

VARIETY 0GD Editions: U.S SIGN IN Search FILM TV- DIGITAL CON'TENDERS VIDEO DIR Audiences finally sick of seeing Johnny Depp Justin Kroll Film Reporte

5
Entry by ColorMe_Yosh

CNN U.S. Crime Justioe Energy+ Enironment Extreme Weather Space Scienoe Excitedly tweet this in order to imply that you understand theoretical physics

4
Entry by gicusudoru

(GRAGKEDGON BBC Sign in News Sport Weather Shop Earth Travel Mor NEWS Home Video World UK Business Tech Science Magazine Entertainment & Arts World Af

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Entry by ColorMe_Yosh

Republicans honor Scalia's devotion to the Constitution by ignoring it to delay successor's appointment Dy PERRY BACON JR. and CARRIE DANN The death o

2
Entry by ColorMe_Yosh

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Acknowledges Existence of Average-sized Women By VANESSA WILKINS . Fe 10 2016. 211PMET f shase wth Facbook arw Tene

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Entry by millerboyett

UPROXX WATCH FEATURED ENTERTAINMENT SPORTS MUSIC LIFE to Nation Collectively Watches Return of Fictional Disaster to Avoid Coming to Terms with Real O

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