Following the news these days is like trying to sift through all the bullshit that one guy in your friend group just won't stop spouting. You know the guy. Somewhere in the story there's an iota of truth, but you'd never know because it's all caked in a bunch of horse shit.
That's why we've tasked our readers with peeling all the layers of dumb storytelling off of recent news stories to bring you nothing but the bare-boned truth. Enjoy.