If Celebrities Got the Fan Mail They Deserved

Having lots of money affords you a ton of things the common unwashed will never get: Solid gold toilets, caviar cereal, and a posse of Yes Men. And because of that last one, famous people end up saying and doing a lot of shit that they probably shouldn't.

With that in mind, we turned to those common unwashed that are our readership and asked them: If you could say one thing to a celebrity, what would it be? We gave money for the best response, but first the runners-up ...

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Entry by bazooka

Entry 19

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Entry by mrlarry

Entry 18

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Entry by Mischa Oldman

Entry 17

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Entry by Manx377

Entry 16

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Entry by pielociraptor

Entry 15

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Entry by Chelsea Burns

Entry 14

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Entry by TryptanFelle

Entry 13

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Entry by El-ahrairah

Entry 12

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Entry by th0tmaster

Entry 11

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Entry 10

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Entry by Rachel P.

Entry 9

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Entry by mkad

Entry 8

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Entry by El Zoof

Entry 7

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Entry by MarlynnOfMany

Entry 6

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Entry by Mgloss

Entry 5

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Entry by mrlarry

Entry 4

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Entry by Scott Laffey

Entry 3

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Entry by Kangmilo

Entry 2

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And the winner is ...

Congrats, Erik Germ. You win money.

Entry 1

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